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For the moms with/have had both toddlers and infants at the same time

How did your toddler react to the new baby? How did you introduce them? How did you confort your toddler when they reacted badly?

Im curiuse because I have a 30 month old DD and my DH and I have been TTC and I was sitting her thinking we havnt even talked about how DD would deal with it.

Extra question for the ones with school aged kids onto of it. How did you do all of that with them too? I have a 7yo DSD also. She has 2 other siblings so she has been through it with her mom but her daddy is her life and idk how she will handel him having another baby. She took on to my DD pretty easly but she knew that was just daddys step daughter. Didnt actually come from him so to her it was diffrent.

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sweetiowamommy

Asked by sweetiowamommy at 4:12 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • my girlies were 22 months apart. it was hardest the first year because the oldest was still young enough to need carrying. it was great as they got older cuz the clothes that were handed down were still in style. Now that they are grown and have kids they have become even closer than when they were younger
    mamak57

    Answer by mamak57 at 4:39 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • When I brought home my 2nd daughter my 1st daughter hated her. She tried to smaother her because the baby wasn't a boy.
    A year later I brought home my 3rd daughter and what helped was letting the 2 girls play with the baby things. Like use the carseat for their own dolls and let them use a diaper or 2 for their dolls. Also holding them just as much as you hold the baby... include the baby in everything and include the kids with the baby. Do not single out any child just because of the new baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • My oldest was just shy of 2 1/2 when his brother was born. I tandem nursed for two years, then finished nursing the baby when he was 3. I never saw signs of jealousy. My 2 year old loved his baby brother and we had a little basket that he carried around with diapers and wipes and diaper bags. We all co slept at nap time, nursed together. I wore the baby, and when i had house work, my oldest was content to play by him self. His brother was 4 months old when I put him in the same room with big brother, and they got along. There were never complaints from my 2 year old when the baby cried. The boys are now 12 and 9 and are best friends. They are kids and sometimes get mad at each other, but always work it out. I have two wonderful kids!!!!

    mom2boys1997

    Answer by mom2boys1997 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • mine are exactly two years apart and even had the same due date so we have two September babies LOL Anyway, we explained everything to my son throughout the whole process, I think people underestimate toddlers and what they understand. I ran a daycare from home so my big thing was thinking that he would wonder where the baby's mommy was and when the baby was going home, but know what? He KNEW the minute he laid eyes on his baby sister that she belonged with us and more importantly, belonged to him. He has loved her from the get go and has always been gentle with her. I think the most important thing to do is talk to your toddler or older children and let them know whats going on and what their role in the baby's life will be.
    Heather_F

    Answer by Heather_F at 4:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • My neighbor gave me the best advice when I was expecting my 3rd child. Use a baby doll to role play with.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 5:06 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • You're just now starting to TTC and even if you are pregnant now, your daughter will be a preschooler by the time the baby is born. Huge difference between a preschooler welcoming a baby and a toddler.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Mine are three years apart. I introduced the idea to my son when I started to show. We knew we were having a girl so we started talking to him about his sister and how mommy would need his help. He was and is very happy with being a big brother and is a good helper. I'd advise to let your older child help out with the baby, even if it's just bringing you a diaper or talking to the baby. They feel included and it really cuts down on resentment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • My boys are 2 years and 2 months apart and my oldest never showed one minute of jealousy!! We were really pleasantly surprised. We always found something for him to do to "help", like bringing diapers, and we gave him the job of washing David's feet when it was bath time. Once, we forgot to let him wash David's feet and he had a coniption!! We had to undress David and put him BACK in the tub so Connor could wash his feet!! They are still very close and best friends to this day.

    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 5:45 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Dominic is 4 years older than Zachary. We got him prepared by telling him that we were going to have a baby (thankfully he was excited) and after I had Zachary (like maybe half an hour after I had him) Dominic came in (with a group lol) to meet his little brother and he was still excited, all he wanted to do was hold him, well between his running spurts anyways.
    Things are still great, except for when Zachary cries, Dominic gets kind of cranky and tells us to "fix that baby"...the first time Zachary had a long cry because he was tired Dominic came running up to me crying yelling at me "what did you do to that baby?!?" I couldn't help but smile because he was already defending his little brother.
    Domzmom2005

    Answer by Domzmom2005 at 6:33 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • mine are 21 mths apart,,,,he would point and poke my belly and say baby....they were introduced at tthe hospital. when the baby cried so would my toddler-it was horrible. He never reacted badly-but i could not turn my back for a minute-I stepped on the porch for a sec and he had him standing up (the baby was about 3 mths then) He also stole my cabbage patch, so he had his own baby-awwww :)
    yeah dad loved that-haha
    Tnamari

    Answer by Tnamari at 6:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

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