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we just got married, already fighting?

me and my husband got married a few weeks ago and i feel like he is changing a little, we fight about stupid stuff and he overreacts alot, he has always been a really social person but he works with his friend and he comes home late (he works commision hours as a mechanic so no set hours) and his friend hangs out and all the while im pissed because we are sapposed to be a family (i have a 2 year old son and me and my husband are expecting another boy in december) and i feel like he would rather spend time with his friends than me. is this normal? is he stressing out because of all the responsibility he has now? he is acting like hes a single partier kind of guy and its driving me crazy! i want my man back, whats happening? i am pregnant and just want to be treated special for awhile.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You should be treated special forever. He is your husband and needs to put you above his friends. If he wanted to hang with friends and party then he should have not committed to you. He owes it to you to be the man you need him to be.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 6:57 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Sometimes when you first get married, you have to give yourself some adjustment time. It takes time for two people who have had totally separate lives and their own ways of doing things to blend together into one household. You both have to make an effort to give and take equally and make the marriage work. He should definitely put you before his friends and want to spend quality family time with you and your child. And right now especially, you need to feel loved and special so you can have a good safe pregnancy. Maybe you can talk to him about how you feel and you guys can talk things out. I hope everything works out. Good luck.
    AmandaB9466

    Answer by AmandaB9466 at 7:04 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • welcome to marriage. it will get worse
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • The 1st of years of marriage can be very difficult. It takes time for both people to adjust to married life, even if you lived together 1st. Try to talk to him when you're not upset, & let him know how you feel. Life does change after you start a family. It doesn't mean he shouldn't have time with the guys, but maybe not every day, & maybe weekly when the kids are small & you need help. It's nice to have couple friends, so you both get a more social time. It's important for BOTH of you to nurture your marriage. Sometimes 1 partner seems to feel that once your married you don't need to make an effort any more, but making an effort is important to every marriage. My husband & I've been married 21 yrs. In the beginning his friends would just drop by without calling. At 1st he didn't see the problem. I'd make dinner, they'd show up & hang out, we'd plan a family night, or romantic night, & someone would show up.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • cont. my husband eventually started realizing that wasn't what he wanted, but it did take time. One day I heard him telling a buddy of his..."hey, I'd really appreciate it if you'd call first, with the kids and stuff sometimes we've got things to do". I was so surprised. There will be tough times off and on through every marriage. Marriage is hard work, but it's worth it... Good Luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:59 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

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