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If you live in a family where the man has kids and you have kids but dont share any how can I tell him that it bothers me that he goes off to his friends and leaves me with the kids? It would be unfair for me to ask him not to but I feel like its unfair for me to not be able to go? what do I do?

We are not married, but we live together. He works and I go to school full time 2 days a week but the rest of the time Im at home with the kids. Im only 22 yrs old and Im not a super great communicator! What is a possible alternative I could offer him to keep from offending him and seeming selfish?

 
strongheart0216

Asked by strongheart0216 at 7:15 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Wait until he gets home one day and just hand them off and walk out the door. Then wait until you are on the road to call him and tell him that you need a break and have to get some things done. Thank him in advance for giving you some much needed 'me time' and tell him you will come back with a surprise for him.  Then when you get home and the kids are down you can have some adult time to give him some positive reinforcement.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Some men think women LIKE and WANT to be the happy homemaker and take care of the kids. They expect it. I'd just ask him straight up "Are you wanting me to watch all of these kids by myself?" It's called setting boundaries. Define who does what. Make it all clear so there is no misunderstanding and no unfairness. You are nice so I won't tell you to ask him "Who was your nanny this time last year?" lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:39 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • If, I didn't know better I would think this is my DD who wrote this letter,she is going through the same thing,her step-kids comes on the weekends,but, when they come,her husband leave out,my DD kids are 15 yr. old, his is younger, she told her DH to plan a nice family weekend for his kids,he told her that was her job,she gave her sons money for the movies,and she went out for the day,and her DH had to watch his kids,my DD asked me was she wrong,I told her no,she had to help her DH learn how to be a good father to his kids. You should do the same thing,his kids is his responsibility,he don't have the right to leave them on you,I would understand if it was going to work,but,out with friends,that's a big no no.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Um are you his girlfriend or his nanny? Ask him the same question.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:22 PM on Sep. 1, 2009

  • Sounds like he needed a babysitter. I would move out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Well.... If he was going to work it would definately be different. You didn't mention if his kids live with you all of the time or just every other weekend sort of thing. If they live with you and he doesnt go out very often it shouldnt be a big deal. If he only gets them every other weekend then you need to say someting. He needs to take care of his kids too. Being calm about it is DEFINATELY the answer.
    lotsOkids371

    Answer by lotsOkids371 at 9:33 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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