You smile and tell him that to you, marrying him is big enough for you, and you don't want the fact that you are becoming man and wife (and the joy that goes with that) to be overshadowed by the hoopla that surrounds a big wedding (and the stress that goes with a big wedding).
Tell him that you would rather have the money that would be spent on an expensive, huge wedding used towards something in your marriage - a trip for you (either alone or with the kids), a house or car, retirement fund, something.
Then, you tell him that while this is what YOU want, it's also important to know what HE wants - because marriage is about communication and compromise, and a wedding is a good place to demonstrate that, so you want to be able to have some of what BOTH of you want.
See what he says :-)
And, btw - congrats on the wedding :-)
at 11:14 PM on Sep. 1, 2009