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How to bond with my 5 year old daughter?

Divorced for nearly two years, my ex husband and i have a set schedule of visitation. However, my daughter always asks to stay with her daddy or my parents. I come to tears when i hear her say "mommy i love you but, i want to stay somewhere else tonight, or can you please get a babysitter?" i do not know why i feel like my daughter doesn't want to be with me or even why i think she doesn't love me sometimes, we have always had a good relationsip this has developed about 4 months ago and i can't figure it out, i try to bond with her more but things havent changed.

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sassophrass

Asked by sassophrass at 3:27 PM on Jun. 23, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Maybe she just gets too much of you. It's probably nothing to do with you being a bad mom...and more to do with the fact that she knows she has choices in spending the night elsewhere. Some kids just get bored and need a change of pace. As a child, I asked to spend the night at my Aunt's house all the time.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 3:34 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • If she's seeing your ex or your parents LESS than she sees you, they're probably coming up with more FUN stuff to do with her... so she probably feels like it's more exciting to be with them. I'm sure she doesn't love you any less, but she's 5. I know the economy is making it hard to do stuff these days, but get out with her... take her to the zoo, the park, out to eat... do more fun stuff that you wouldn't normally do.
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 4:59 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Yes, dad is more fun and so are grandparents. Why? Because they are just barrels of fun and more fun..the revolve around her right? You on the other hand are the mom, the parent the rule giver, boundry maker and the one that gives out consquences.
    When my parents divorced I saw my dad as the better parent and my mom the rotten one. My ex and his family have all the fun with the girls but handed them back to me to be the parent. Kids don't understand that if they lived full time with the other parent that it would not be 24 hour fun.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 6:04 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I would think she is hearing from someone why she shouldn't stay with you. Start by asking her and seek some help to find out why. If it is someone close to you, they probably won't give you a clue. I just got that feeling when I read you post. Is it possible?
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 9:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Sounds to me like she is getting an earful of how they feel about you and I am thinking it is not very nice. You know how ex's and their families are most of the time. They have multiple reasons as to why the ex is not a good parent or person in general mainly because they are hurt that the marriage didn't work or something else. Not sure cause I really don't know your case but it sounds like she is nervous or insecure. You should sit and talk with her...she's a kid and she will tell you. If you let her talk.
    Hugs!
    Shele
    SHELEBELLE

    Answer by SHELEBELLE at 11:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I agree with the answers that she is having "more fun" there. My sons used to love going to their dads... when he lived with his mother on the farm (country boys). Now that he lives with his GF in town they hate going there. It has nothing to do with HIM, or his GF... there is just more to do here.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 2:00 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

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