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Where's the communication?

So my SS goes on a mini trip with his mom. I didn't hear about it until he got back to our house, to which I asked him how his weekend was. When he told me he flew on a plane somewhere for a 2 day vacation with his mom, I was shocked. Why? because my DH never told me! He had to have known bcuz mom asked him if she could keep him for a full 3 day weekend, if she were taking him out of town, I know she mentions these things to him. So who am I? Chop liver? Why would he not tell me his young son spent 2 days out of town?? Really confused and no, I haven't asked bcuz I wouldn't know how to begin.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Good question
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:04 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Maybe just approach him non-defensively. " I am really glad your son had a good time with his mom on that trip, but I love him, too, and I kinda wish I had known he was going. I had no idea they went out of town, I might have helped pack him better, or something. I'm not angry, I just would've liked to know."
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:26 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • yeah, that would be a good way to start. Unfortunately, I've asked him other things this exact way before and get a similar answer from him: "Ok, I will remember that's how you feel about it, and try harder to inform you of something going on in my sons life." It's his favorite answer to give me but we always end up back where we are now. In other instances he will tell me that what his son does with his mom is of no real interest to him as long as he's having fun. But, a trip is different, and I think him not telling me is equal to him lying to me or keeping a secret from me. It's that big of a deal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • maybe he doesnt think it matterrs to you, i reccomd letting him know it bothered you and ask him next time to tell you because you would just like to know
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 1:20 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Let him know how much you care about your ss and that it matters to you to know what is going on with him. I say this, b/c as I read this, I thought to myself, "What does it matter to you? He was with his mom, it's not like he was off with a stranger or something." And I don't mean that in a nasty way, it's just that it seems like so few stepparents care about what happens with their stepkids (at least the ones that I know). Maybe your hubby thinks that you don't really care. I would make sure he knows that you do care and that you want to be kept informed. And if he doesn't keep you informed....how's your relationship with ss mom? Can you just talk to her and casually ask what they'll be doing over the weekend or whatever? Then you wouldn't have to rely on hubby to tell you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:09 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

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