Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

PBM or EWCA?

I have learned many terms since beginning our adoption journey, such as birth mom after relinquishing, expectant mom prior to relinquishing, potential birth mom, etc. But the other day, I saw this EWCA and it took me a while to realize that is was probably Expectant Woman Considering Adoption. Is that right? Is that more "politically correct" than Potential Birth Mom to agencies or adoptive parents? I guess I can see that PBM makes the assumption that she will still relinquish after birth, where as EWCA lets the PAP's know that it isn't over until it's over. What do you think? Where did EWCA come from? Is it a legal term or preferred term?

 
doodlebopfan

Asked by doodlebopfan at 12:13 AM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Adoption

Level 20 (9,525 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • I can't "claim it" because it's more likely that I heard it and it resonated with me too!

    The more I use it the more I like the phrasing. But, that's what this journey is - staying open to how things evolve for you (and allowing for others to be where they happen to be). I know that Ive changed because I've been here. Sure it's not always a pleasant experince but if I'm growing and can learn more about myself than fir me it's worth it
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 2:07 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Wow, that's a new one. How hard is it to say Expectant Mom....?

    (oh, wait, I forgot.....how dare we call them moms, right?)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • That's not what I meant, and definitely not to start an argument. I think I understand that one implies that the adoption is settled and perhaps pressures the e-mom into becoming that PBM, whereas the EWCA says that "I haven't decided until I've decided and I can still change my mind at any point because I am "considering adoption", I haven't "chosen" adoption." If that makes sense. And of course, since I haven't heard it before, I am making up my own definition until someone else can enlighten me. LOL!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:15 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • It is sad that anom12:24 is correct concerning the attitude of so many.I agree with doodlebopfan keeping up with the newest lingo and understanding the meaning behind it all keeps me on my toes.Hadn't thought about this newest one till now but think you are correct. It's a good one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • (oh, wait, I forgot.....how dare we call them moms, right?)

    Upset that you're regarded to as "angry and bitter"? That kind of attitude does nothing but make you appear that way. If you want people to see another side of you and actually listen to what you have to offer then maybe you should start with not throwing these little jabs out every chance you get! It's getting old and it's doing absolutely nothing for your cause.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Well, of course I'm still waiting for someone who's actually heard of or used the term before, but perhaps it would help both the moms in the area of expectations. A "ewca" perhaps wouldn't feel as obligated to pap's if she changed her mind after birth, but the "pap's" could be cautiously optimistic. Of course all pap's know that the mother could change her mind, but I, for one, would feel horrible for taking a child that someone decided to keep, but still continued to spare MY heartache. Someone told me early on in foster care, that we don't want to adopt just ANY child, but the child that has NO ONE. If there is a family member who wants the child (and was approved), how could I sleep knowing I had a child that someone else was aching for? But that there would be children whose paths had "dead-ended" with the state & that child would NEED me. It did suddenly make sense, that NOT any child would do, but that special one/more.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:19 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • (oh, wait, I forgot.....how dare we call them moms, right?)


    Upset that you're regarded to as "angry and bitter"? That kind of attitude does nothing but make you appear that way. If you want people to see another side of you and actually listen to what you have to offer then maybe you should start with not throwing these little jabs out every chance you get! It's getting old and it's doing absolutely nothing for your cause.


    clappingTHANK YOU, I COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Come on... where does the politically correct stuff go too far.

    Sorry, but I give women more credit than to think that the most important decision of their lives is going to be made based on a couple little letters in an abreviation. How about this abreviation instead

    "PPFMBMNMDOWSICTWWMPCAOMNBM"

    (Potential possible first mom birth mom natural Mom depending on what she is called this week who may possibly consider adoption or maybe not but maybe)

    Oh..wait.. that ends with the letters BM so maybe it is back to the drawing board

    How about we worry about all of the real issues in adoption and stop sweating the small stuff
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Well, I didn't say 'politically correct" as to mean that it is something negative...didn't know how else to put it, sorry, but if the "letters" change the thinking of pap's or agencies then I can see the advantage to pregnant women.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:07 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • ANON 8:53A.M., Please do not disregard what ismeant by a "title", which seems to be exactly what you are doing when you make a statement" how about worry about the "real' issues' in adoption and stop sweating the small stuff. Are the "real issues", trying to find ways for a young expectant mother to find ALL her potential resources...or is it any less important, if 'we" give a tilte to a young woman whom cannot have children...lets say, 'wbaccac" (woman barren an can't concieve a child"???? Seems very harsh and uncaring to say something like that...therefore, may be very antagonistic, and even somewhat cruel! Just trying to show, that 'titles' can be very insensitive, and cold...see what I mean? I am NOT a fan of ANY of the titles that have been given to the triad memebers..especially 'adoptee', and 'amom'. regardless of how one recieves a child into their hearts, they are just simply a 'MOM'...not an 'Amom". JMHO, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 2, 2009