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Am I wrong!

So my sons dad tells me he cares but has seen him 3 times and my sons 16 months old and one of the 3 times I drove the 8 hours to see him for my vacation. See I now live with family in WV and he lives in SC. I have ask him to come help me give me a break so many times and last time he told em I needed to grow up and hes sorry I couldnt take of the decision I made to keep my son I dotn beleave in aborcian! He drives a corvett and only gives me 300 a month and its not done legaly we just agreeded on it. Since he wont help me and take care of him I feel I shoulf get the sc legalized. Possibably get more cs that way. I am talkign to a lawyer tomorrow about it all!

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Asked by xxstacixx720xx at 1:14 AM on Sep. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Good. You need to talk to a lawyer. its' really what you shoudl have done long ago.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:17 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I was trying to be nice and just get along with him and keep it all out of court but if he wont visit his son and treats me like crap lately I dont care what he wants!

    Answer by xxstacixx720xx at 1:21 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • No you are not wrong. Every an should raise his children. If he isn't going to do that then he should at least help pay.

    Answer by FuzNet at 1:43 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Less words, more action.

    What people tell you is of far less consequence than what they actually do. Caring for someone is a verb, not an adjective.

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:10 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • He helped make your son, so it's only right for you to make him help support him. Maybe then he'll feel a little more obligated to spend some time with him -by a long shot. You are completely in the right for persuing this. It's not wrong for you to want to be nice, but there is a line that has to be drawn. I learned that the hard way, my daughter is 2 going on 3 and I've only gotten maybe a total of $300 in child support from her dad. I've tried to be nice, since I know he doesn't have a job right now, but it's been too long. Just know that if you're not getting the money you're supposed to get, keep calling and bothering the child support enforcement agency, there are many steps they can take to try and make sure you're getting what you deserve because it's not fair to you or your child when you're working your butt off to support him and the father is living it up without a care in the world. :)

    Answer by WCurrie05 at 2:18 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • hes never missed sending the 300 he does a month but be wont help me when I begg for a break! I feel liek if I get it legaly done I will get more than 300 and maybe then I could afford a babysitter when I need a break from my son. workign full time and being a single parnt I just need a break and he clames he cant afford it. I am just getting fed up with his crap and I think by takeing him to court will make him realize I eather need a break by him givei ng me one or a babysitter.

    Answer by xxstacixx720xx at 2:44 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You're not wrong for how you feel, or for taking him to cour tfor the cs. The only question I have is did you move near your family after your son was born, or did he move to where he is after your son was born? I only ask b/c that seems to be a pretty big distance, and while I don't know his situation, I'm thinking that his job may make it pretty difficult for him to get to you to visit or give you a break. I'm not criticizing you, I'm just saying that if you moved, you can't really blame him for not being able to come to you. With that said, he could certainly send you a little extra money so you could get a babysitter and get out of the house for a little while. Since you live near family, are any of them willing to help you out and watch your son for a couple of hours every now and then? I'm not saying to let your son's father off the hook, but trying to find a way you could still get a break. Definitely go to court though

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:47 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Wait, so while I'm all for him paying child support, let me get this straight...

    You were living in South Carolina, with the child's father. Then after the baby was born, you moved to West Virginia? And you are upset that the father won't relocate to West Virginia to help with the child. And you wonder why he has only seen the baby 3 times? Umm, he OBVIOUSLY has a job in South Carolina. So if he packs everything up and moves he loses that job, therefore you lose the money. He probably has to wait to see his kid until he has time off from work, so that would explain why he has only visited 3 times. DH sees his sone once to twice a year because of the distance. He is voluntarily paying $300 a month and the fact that he drives a corvette doesn't exactly cover how much he is making a month (is it used, paid off?) And he may not have the money to relocate. Wow, YOU moved and now you want to punish HIM.

    Answer by Petie at 8:10 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • well you live with family..they can't watch your son so you can have some you time? I have to agree with Petie. YOU chose to move away. 3 times in 16 months is great. I have a soon to be 16 year old who hasn't seen her father in 14 years. An 8 hour drive is to too long to spend only a few hours with your child. Give him a break. At least your getting cs monthly. Some women don't get anything. I can see going to court to make sure you get cs and yes him visitation rights but why start getting ugly with him now? It may go against you.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:10 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I lived in Sc in my own apartment and the week I found out I was pregnat my room mate moved out bc she aslso was pregnat and moved in with the boyfriend and babys dad. And me and Tanners dad broke up that week and he didnt bother to help me so I could stay but I couldnt afford to if I had I would have been homeless. As for family watching him they watch my son while I work so their for wont watch them when i am not at work. His familys never ment my son ither. And oen of the times he saw Tanner was b/c I drove the 8 hours my self when tanner was 2 months old. His Corvett he bought it while I was pregnat! Befor that he had a subrue legacy that wasnt payed off yet. As for his Job he instals auto glass! and has for years if he moved he could find a job. I am not askign him to move thow just take tanner for a few days here and their. Maybe meet half way and he take him.

    Answer by xxstacixx720xx at 10:33 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

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