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Is this fair?

My dh and I are in an argument about time spent watching the kids. He does not watch them at all. I am a WAHM and I work (proofreading) all day while watching the kids. I want him to watch them half of the time after work and on weekends. So, he wants me to add up the total amount of time each day I spend working and total watching the kids. The problem is, I do both at once and he claims that I can't count the time twice!! I would say it is 9 hours of watching kids plus 7 hours of work. But he says I can't count 16 hours in a 9 hour day. Is that fair?? I really do do both of these at once! Plus, he wants "extra credits" because his job provides healthcare as part of the benefits! He is trying to add everything up so we can split it and make it equal. He thinks I won't be happy with the result. But idk how it could be worse than the current of him doing zero child care.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • That is ridcilous that he is asking to you to count time. You can live under the same roof and still be a dead beat dad. Tell him to get the f over himself and start spending time with his kids. Cause there gonna realize it someday that all daddy does is work and sit on the couch. I hear this crap all the time and it gets me SOOOOOOOOO mad.

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 8:26 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Tell him you want to hire a Nanny to come in during the day while your working....see what he says.

    Answer by EireLass at 8:28 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I guess my relationship with my husband is different. I wouldn't argue about it I would just tell him when he got home from work it is his time and that would be it. He helped produced the kids and he will help raise them too.

    Answer by JMcDonald at 8:32 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • It sounds stupid. Go see a professional.

    Answer by Doodlesrevenge at 8:36 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Oh Sweet Jesus, this isn't a friggen competition, it's about BEING a PARENT

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 8:40 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I am a Wahm and a few months ago i wasnt getting along with my dh and that was one of our issues. We sat down and talked about everything that was bothering each of us and i explained to him that i did not think he wanted anything to do with the kids because that is what it seemed like and i wanted them to have a father that actually wanted to be around them and now he pays a LOT more attention to them. Being a sahm can get very frustrating and put a person on edge at times. We are all human we all need a break from our kids from time to time to just get out of the house for a few minutes. When you talk about splitting time are you both at home at this time? If you are i dont think it should even be discussed. You both have responsibilites for the children you both need to be keeping a watchful eye on them and being a parent. Your kids need BOTH of you they need that interaction.

    Answer by Smixxy_jmm at 8:55 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I think this should have been determined BEFORE you had kids. What do people talk about before marriage and having kids? It's like no one talks about all the crap they end up arguing about after marriage and kids. If you have already had more than one child it tells us that you've been with him for at least a couple of years so you have trained him by allowing him to never do anything. All of a sudden you want to change everything. Good luck with that. Just tell him when you need him to watch them so you can go do something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Damn you have more patience then me, i would be telling my SO to get the heck out if he doesnt want to be a parent, your home isnt a friggin motel..its a home you both made together and you made those children together, its quite shallow and childish of him to expect you to tally up all the hours youve spent with the children, and its kind of immature for you to go along with it, tell him to suck it up and to be a parent...plain and simple.

    Answer by Lanie_momofone at 10:21 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You both sound like immature people. You both should be taking care of the kids and should not be even trying to compare who does more. I feel for the kids imagine if they ever overheard you two jackasses discussing this. Makes a kid feel like dirt when mom and dad fight over who has to spend more time with the kids. You both should want to be with the kids and should be fighting over who gets to spend time with them not getting out of spending time with them. Life isn't fair and you both suck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Sounds like he needs to get his head out of his ass and tend to his children! I wonder if your talking about my exh and his wife. This all sounds too familiar! lmao

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 9:35 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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