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What have I done(kinda long)

Ok ladies I just found out yesterday that well....my 17mo is playing me like a damn fiddle. At daycare he does not use his Bink, he wipes his nose when told to and then throws away the tissuse, he climbs in the bed when its nap time and does not hit or fuss or really ever cry there...BUT when he gets in the car to come home he cries till he gets his bink, he fights me to wipe his nose and wont sleep in his bed which is a toddler bed since the monkey climbs out of his crib so i rock him to sleep so i can get him in his own bed only to wake about 2 to him standing at my bed or climbing in my bed. he does not listen to me telling him no everything we do is a constant battle. Now i should explain that daddy is deployed and has been since January so there is no real male role model for him so he thinks its ok to hit me after i spank him or tell him no or put him in bed before he is ready. I am really loosin it. please help.

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Quintensmom

Asked by Quintensmom at 11:07 AM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 7 (158 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i do time outs, i have spanked my daughter, but she didnt care and she hit me back, so i started sitting her on the bottom step facing the wall, no tv, no sounds, no ones allowed to talk to her, no nothing. she just sits and stares at the wall for 2 minutes (she two and i do a minute per year) and she hates it! it worked! haha i was amazed, but it works for us so thats what we do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Just be consistent. If he is ready to be taken of the binky, just throw them away. You need to start letting him know that you are boss. It will be hard, but you can do it. Start now, teach him that you are serious, and that Mommy's word is law. I am not saying beat him, or even forget to have fun with him. But remember that there are times when you can be flexible, and times when you have to be more rigid.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:20 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • It may take some time to break him of things that have become habits. You might try asking them what they do at daycare and also watching him there - it might give you some ideas to try at home. Also, as long as he gets the reaction from you he wants or expects, he will continue to do the same things. You can also check out some parenting programs that give you a framework to work within (it can help with consitency and knowing how to handle different types of behaviors). I particularly like Love & Logic with my toddler. Good luck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Here is a very useful trick for the binky...cut the tip off of it! It looses it's suck-ability (is that a word?) and won't be as comforting and soon HE will not be interested in it. As for the rest of the issues, ask the daycare staff what is different? Maybe they are doing something slightly different, maybe it's how they talk to him (obviously I don't think that you are yelling at him to wipe his nose!) do they do time outs? And of course, my mom always said that kids behave differently for care staff because it's less comforting...he knows that he is not going to get his way there, so he conforms....
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 12:46 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I've been there, lol. My oldest didn't get rid of his pacifier til he was 3, and my youngest, at 5, still wants to get in bed with us but we put her back in her bed. My best advice is just be consistent. Spanking does not work for some kids. We tried mild spankings (a swat on the butt or tap on the hand) for my oldest and then he just thought that hitting was how you get people to do what you want, so he punched me in the stomach when he was 3 because I wouldn't give him what he wanted. We didn't really spank after that because that does teach them that hitting is okay when you don't get what you want. Time out works beautifully though. You have to put him somewhere you can see him but that he can't interact with others. A bare wall or corner works well. Have him stand with his nose on the wall for a minute and a half to two minutes. He is not to be allowed to turn around or talk to anyone or play with anything. He will....
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:07 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • very soon get tired of that. And you have to make sure you use the same punishment every single time. As for the pacifier, talk to him like he is a big kid. I know my friend's son is 18 months old, and she can tell him things and he understands if it is very simple. Hold his pacifiers in your hand. Tell him he is a big boy, it's time for the pacifier to go in the trash. Buy him a new sippy cup or something similar to replace them. Have that on hand when you do this. Have him throw his pacifiers (all of them) in the garbage, then you look in the garbage at them and say something like "Yuck!" then give him the new sippy and say No more bink, but this is for you instead. It will probably be hard for the first few days but he will get used to it very quickly. Also, letting him do things for himself at home will really build his comfort and confidence in himself which will benefit you greatly!
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:10 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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