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Here we go again, he refused to go to school today!`

One week in, DS 15 and I had a discussion last night because he was disrespectful yesterday morning when getting up for school. He is not a morning person. I have to go in 4-5 times to wake him up. I told him that I will no longer do that and he would have to get up by himself. I then brought him an alarm clock and started to set it for him. He yelled I wont use it. I then had a meltdown and threw it to the ground and smashed it. My bad! This morning he said I cant go to school because of last night and I would get in trouble because I am in a bad mood and I will take it out on everyone. He went back to bed. I never raised my voice just smashed the alarm clock. Hmmm. I cant make a 6 foot 170 lb boy go. What to do? Do I excuse him? Thoughts?

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dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 11:21 AM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Call the cops. It's illegal for him not to go. When he's 16 he can drop out. And if that becomes the case, tell him you can drop out but you'll get a full time job or you can move out.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 11:24 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You excuse him, yeah, ((to make up for the alarm clock- which he really sold the being tormented over)) but you don't tell him that. Otherwise you might have truancy officers at your door. Then you go in his room, tell him that if he's going to keep his happy little behind home then he can be useful. Put him to work. Make him clean up the kitchen or living area or bathrooms or something, but do not let him sit there and get away with this. And tell him that every time he pulls this crap, he gets to do household chores all day. It's school or chores. I mean really, who is the boss in your house? you or him?
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:32 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • My SIL went to the school, talked to the counselor and they ended up getting a truancy (sp?) officer involved. A real cop. Unfortunately, its tough love time and w/a big boy like that, you need some backup.
    jj.mominmd

    Answer by jj.mominmd at 11:32 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • make him go to bed earlier and take away privileges! It is the law, At least threaten to call the cops and tell the school counselor you are having problems.

    chefjen

    Answer by chefjen at 11:34 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • he needs a wake up call ASAP. Here we have something called PINS its 'people in need of supervision'. I personally have not had to go that route, but you may want to call your local police station and ask them about it or a program like it.


     next ....clean out the kids room of everything except what is needed...clothes bed etc. take all radios, phones TV toys, games out etc make him earn them back


    I would also try to find out what the problem is with school. He is at an age where they place great importance on things that to us adults seem trivial. He may need to see a counselor. You need to let him know its your house your the parent he needs to follow your rules

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • He is just being a little shit...acting his age. Kick his ass out of bed and make him go to school. My inlaws didn't make my husband go and he dropped out and was a loser for a while. I was the same way, but my parents wouldn't let me act that way. I agree with the PP who said to take all of his stuff away and make him earn it back. Also, I would wake him up with a tall pitcher of ice water. I would warn him the night before that if he doesn't get up on his own that you will poor the ice water on him. If he doesn't get up on his own, then follow through with your threat. I can guarantee a couple days of that and he will use the alarm clock.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Do not excuse him - talk to the school and let them know what the problem is and let him deal with the consequences. I would go to the school and meet with the counselor and principal. I doubt your kid is the first one to pull this sort of stunt, so I bet they have some ideas about how to handle this (it will also help you to have someone else on your side). I also highly recommend trying to find a Love & Logic parenting course for you - it's not easy when they are to this point, but it can make things better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I'd be a bit afraid of escalating things by pouring ice water on him as a PP suggested; you don't want it to ever get to the point that he physically assalts you - now if Dad is home and can handle it, maybe. If you are on your own I think you can come up with other consequences that will be very effective if you think about it and talk it over with someone who can help you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • UM YOUR THE MOM HIS CONTROLLING U!! TAKE A BIG BUCKET OF COLD WATER THEROW AT HIS FACE AND SAY YOUR GOING TO SCHOOL END OF STORY. AND IF HE HITS YOU CALL THE COPS AND PUT HIS ASS IN JAIL. HIS 15 YOU NEED TO LEARN TO CONTROL HIM
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 12:54 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Call the cops - the hell if you can't make his wanna be grown ass go to school they can - because by law him not going to school can end with you getting arrested, as if you condone it when you dont! But I'd sure call the cops first thing in the morning or ask to speak to a Resource officer at his school; have them set up a meeting with you him and his teachers and make him sign a contract to where he HAS no choice but to go to school and if he doesn't go to school then he gets arrested - I know because I was on the same contract and if i were to have gotten arrested it would've resulted in house arrest and probation. let em think he has the upper hand and spring some new news on him.
    dorkish_face

    Answer by dorkish_face at 2:02 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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