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IDK where to put this...

But here it goes. I just got the DNA test back on my daughter. And it stated that the guy who I have been saying is the father is her father...it was kinda a big duh. Everyone in his family and him were in denial. Anyways. Now they all *except him* wanna be a part of her life and are pretty much throwing them selfs on me. It makes me soo sick. Like really you wouldnt see her before and now you want to see her all the time. Its so sicking to me. So anyways my question is have anyone been in this situations or have any advice to how to handle this!?!? I want them *minus him* to be apart of her life but I just cant deal with the whole Give me give me give me.

Answer Question
 
Amanduh87

Asked by Amanduh87 at 12:07 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i would say you just have to accept that they had doubts but no that they know they are stepping forward. Im sure it is hard for you since you probably were hurt that they didnt believe it all along. They were probably told alot by hm and you never really know until their is a test if he says its not his. His family didnt do anything wrong, just try to let your hurt feelings go and open u to them, it could be very helpful in the future and the baby is their family.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:12 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • may I ask how much the DNA test cost?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Couldnt they have just accepted her before they knew even if she MIGHT not be their blood relation? Meaning couldnt they have said...well, she might be and shes an innocent child and deserves a family that loves her. People are people and they all need love and need a family regardlesss if its their biological family or not. I dont understand pushing a child out of your life because it MIGHT not be your problem. How about just loving her because shes a person and if she ends up being yours, then great, if not then you have ONE MORE person in your life to love you. What morons. Im sorry youve had to go through this. I put very little stock in blood relations.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 12:49 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • i would start asking for money then to have them help support the baby other then just seeing her.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:09 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • TBH, I have a big problem with people who behave that way. I see it all the time with the father's family. Mature adults don't dump all over someone, accuse them of deceit, then say, oh since the baby really is our granddaughter/neice/ etc., we want to see her now. You're the mother, you have the say in who sees her and who doesn't. It's up to you if you want to let them have a relationship with her. Just set whatever boundaries you feel comfortable with.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:15 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I would write them a letter & express to them how it is hard for you to accept them so "all of a sudden". You don't have to be rude at all, just tell them that none of them were there for you before this, they all automatically assumed that this child was not his, even though you knew she was...and tell them that all that really hurt your feelings. So, it is hard for you to swing your arms open & accept them. Tell them it will take you time, but that you are sure eventually it will get easier.

    Knowing my weird self, i would probably avoid them like the plague. But you might not want to do that.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:29 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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