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Am I wrong for getting mad at my ex because we talk like we are still together but he doesn't come around because we are not going out?

We talk on the phone all the time as if we are together, today I am taking him lunch but I know that he wouldn't do the same. He has been talking about doing something fun this weekend but hasn't asked me if we want to join him. I have no place in his life except for on the phone when he wants to talk. I can't stand it anymore and when I talk to him about it, he gets all mad at me and tells me that I can never just let things be, that I gotta start stuff with him and make him mad.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • So you're just there when he wants to talk? Stop being available for him, stop making him lunch, just stop. Maybe when he realizes you're not waiting around for him, he'll realize what he's missing.

    Answer by missanc at 1:55 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • yes, you are wrong. You should be angry with yourself. It sounds like you are thinking it's good between you but it sure doesn't sound like he's putting much effort into it. Don't take him anything. He's using you. Stop it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You are taking HIM to lunch and he doesn't reciprocate?

    Dearie, you're being a meal ticket. Stop.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:56 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Stop dreaming. He does not want you as a girlfriend or SO or wife. Go meet someone who really want to be with you.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:56 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Your life would be so much easier if you'd just stop talking to him. The 2 of you have already done the breakup, so this won't even be hard. The next time he calls, be pleasant, but firm. "Hi, did you need something? No, O.K., see ya!" Get control of the situation.


    Answer by carlye828 at 2:02 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I would stop answering the phone. Any friendship or any other relationship that doesn't work both ways simply does not work. Don't say another word to him about any of it. Just don't answer the phone. He is using you for his errand boy and that is very disrespectful.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:09 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • OP here - I have tried to end for good so many times but he wont leave me alone. He calls all the time and writes me emails telling me how much he wants to be with me and then I fall for his BS. He doesnt want to end it for good, he has told me that. He wants me to hang in there and wait I guess for when he is really ready for this.

    I dont know, I guess I am making excuses for him because this in not how love is suppose to be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Block his e-mails. Don't answer his phone calls. Change your phone number if you must but tell him you are DONE.

    And then tell him you'll get a restraining order if he doesn't knock it off.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:15 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Oh yeah, when I tell him that I am done, he tells me that I dont love him and that I am giving up on him and throwing him away. It doesnt help when he say these things to me because I do love him but I am also tired of his games.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You are right. He is useing you.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:17 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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