Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I wrong to be angery????

Last fall my DH was a victim of the economy. Jan of this year he got a new job, although he has moved up rather quickly, and got a little raise. it's not even close to what he was making. I am working, going to school full time and we just found out we are expecting our 2nd child..
With this job he is paid less, working longer hours, and even on his days off they still call him, we dont get a break. Frankly, I am sick of it. I know I should be greatful he has a job in this day and age, and I am. He confessed to me the other night that he doesnt WANT to go back to his old job when/if the Economy picks up.. I am angery to say the least. I am doing all I can to help provide for our family and I feel he wants to stick to this bcuz it's VERY easy to him... I was tought u do all you can to provide for u family even if its a job u dont like...Am I wrong for being so angry at him???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think you are frustrated, and hormonal. Maybe you have too much on your plate and just need to cut back a little, so you can just relax and look at the bright side you are healthy, you aren't hungry, you have a roof over your head and a bun in the oven...congratulations by the way....things will get better.... I wouldn't want to do a job i didn't enjoy and if your husband goes back to this job he doesn't enjoy he will blame you and resent you and that will cause problems. I think maybe you should sit down and talk to him gently about how there is a lot of pressure on you and how you are stressed out about your finances and maybe you guys can make a game plan...some goals that you can work towards to help you make more money, save more money, and career options that pay more and that he would be willing to do....and maybe more ways he can hlep you relax and less stress especially since your preggers! good luck

    Answer by abbyg at 4:13 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I would have to say yes, it's wrong for you to be angry with him. My husband makes minimum wage plus commission, and I would never ask him to find a different job because it pays more... He's happy where he is, and if he's happy, so am I. If it means that we have to live a tighter budget, then so be it. But it's not wrong for you to vocalize your frustrations to him. You are in a relationship, let him know what you're going through too. Good Luck, remember: This too shall pass.

    Answer by Rachel315 at 4:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • He has to make up his mind on what he wants to do. I would ask him what HIS plans are for getting back on financial track. I wouldn't waste energy on being angry though

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:36 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I was taught like you - to do what you have to. Children don't ask to be born yet it is our responsibility to prove food, shelter and our time. You have a right t.o be frustrated. Less money, more hours, it sucks. I am in the minority but it's an immature person who resents his family because he has to do something not easy to take care of them.

    I can only suggest talking to him and finding a compromise. I hope it gets better for you both.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:42 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You need to keep in mind that it's taking longer to find jobs at the same level. In fact, he might not ever find a job at that level. Even if he WANTED it back, his old job might never return.

    What has to happen is that the two of you need to figure out life in the new reality. It's not going to be easy. And he probably doesn't like not having a break any more than you do. I'm currently working two jobs,. and for a while was worried about DH's reaction because there are times (like tonight) when my job requires lots of extra hours. But he told me, "This is your JOB. I'm not going to complain."

    Of course, he's been out of work nearly five months.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I understand where you are coming from, but IMO its better for him to be happy where he's at than for him to be miserable for more money. IMO its not really fair to ask him to do something he's going to hate (which will only hurt your family) because you feel he's not doing enough because he's getting paid less.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 5:33 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You have a right to be frustrated. He may not want to go back to that job. But he needs to get back to making the money everyone grew accustomed to. That is is job. He can be happy, but needs to balance that with the rest of the families happiness. When you marry and have kids, it isn't always about him and his happiness. He should consider everyone else too when he makes decisions.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 7:06 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I just feel alone and angry VERY Angry( I asked the Q).. I am working at a jobe that I HATE BUT it brings me THE MOST MONEY..I am SO angry he refuses do to the same.. uuuuuggghhhh!!!, i am also taking care of our 18mnth old and going to school to be and RN. I may not be putting much in as far as money, but i feel like i have been delt a full plate, I am not complaining by no means. I am doing it an doing it with pride/love. I just feel he has taken this job bcuz it's very easy to him, and yes he is very good at it. But by God We are still paying on the Dagree he ISN"T/ WON'T Use!!!.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.