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What is a good form of discipline for 5 year olds?

My 5 year old daughter is very stubborn. When she doesn't get her way, she throws a fit and starts crying, or cries when we are trying to punish her. I've tried spanking, but it doesn't seem to phase her, so I use a time out method. If she gets in trouble for something minor, I'll put her in time out for 5 min or so, but if she continues to act up and refuse to listen, I take away her priveledges. Instead of being able to play with her toys, she has to sit on her bed. Now, I don't leave her there all night. I help her with her writing, give her a long bath time, and read her a story, but I'm just not allowing her to play with her toys, she has to sit in her room quietly. This works VERY well with her. A couple nights of that, and usually her behavior has corrected itself. The problem is, im divorced and her father believes my punishment is too harsh, that she's too young for that kind of discipline. Opinions?

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summergirl618

Asked by summergirl618 at 4:45 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • My ex always thought my punishment ways were wrong too. He was being "good time dad". But when my kids were old enough to understand and process the whole of everything, they said they were glad that I had rules and boundaries. It made them feel very secure to always know what was expected and what would happen.
    Sounds like you're on the right road with this punishment if it works.
    When the child is with you, it has to conform to your ways of parenting. When he has the child, he can do it his way. The saddest part is that the 2 parents aren't on the same page.
    You and your child will be fine.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 4:50 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You should both read the book 1-2-3 magic. Very simple, very easy, very effective... non spanking method.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I would tell your ex that when your daughters with him he can discipline how he sees fit and when your daughter is with you, you will discipline how you see fit....your daughter will learn very quickly that she must behave with you and sooner or later your ex will see that his method is ineffective and might take a page or two out of your book...or maybe he will have success with his method...everyone has different methods doesn't mean its right or wrong...my dad is very strict and when my daughters visits Grandpa she knows the rules of his house and they are 4 and 3...and when they come home they know whats expected and when they go to school they know the rules of whats allowed. I wouldn't fight with my ex just agree to disagree....and just try to get along as much as possible for the sake of your precious princess. Good luck.
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 8:51 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • We use time outs on our 5 year old. Sometimes they're alot of work to get her to stay there but she's worth the effort. I don't think you should ever punish a child by putting them in their room. Their room should be a happy/safe place for them to be not viewed as a cell of sorts.
    drpepper73

    Answer by drpepper73 at 10:04 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • could it be that the reason your daughter is acting out is because she knows something is going on between mommy & daddy? Have you and your husband sat down and spoke to your daughter about the divorce? children are not stupid and at this age they see everything and hear everything. If you haven't sat down with your daughter and it should be both Mommy & daddy and tell her and sometimes being open with a child helps out the most.

    My marriage is not the best and my daughter knows it. But I speak to her about it all the time (what she needs to know) and when she misbehaves she gets time out, if she says a time out word she gets soap in her mouth. But, I think your daughter is acting out because she sees something wrong with mom & dad.
    happynewyorker

    Answer by happynewyorker at 4:01 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • no she is not. I believe u are handling the situation very well. I do time out also(1 min per age of the child) and i also do wall squats for my 6 1/2 year old if she is really bad it is very effective and i hardly get any trouble from her.
    Lovebugto2

    Answer by Lovebugto2 at 12:34 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

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