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Thanks Ladies

Everyone has been so supportive today. My brat 15 yr old is turning my house upside down. Everything is a bit more calm now that the police officer talked to my DS. However my husband (step father) is so pissed I dont know what to do. I want them to be friends but I dont ever see that happening.

Answer Question
 
dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 5:14 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • It might come down to them just being civil or you having to choose. If it goes on for too long, your son could resent you.

    I'm not trying to be mean at all. I've just seen it happen with my sister and step-dad.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 5:20 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I don't know how long you've been married, if your husband has raised your son since he was small, or if this is new. Teens are challenging under easy circumstances, but having their lives change can make it even harder. Does your husband have biological kids of his own, is this his first experience with parenting? Have they had trouble from the beginning? I do think it can change. They may need help. Maybe family counseling? Was there a reason your son didn't want to go to school today? Has something changed with him recently? If you haven't been married long, your husband may need to take it slowly as far as discipline. You should be the primary disciplinarian, even though you'd like your husband's help. Your son may resent him more if he jumps in as a parent. Every situation is different. My oldest son is 26, mine from a previous marriage. He tells people he chose his own dad. We still had challenges. Good luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:29 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • My husband has never been the disciplinarian, but does comment at times if my DS is being disrespectful, thats about it. My husband gets mad because my DS is disrespectful and makes me so upset. Hmmm what to do.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 5:32 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Your husband shouldn't be your kid's friend. Kids have enough friends, they need parents. Your child needs to learn to treat your husband w/ respect. Easier said than done, I know. My stepsons have come to realize that I am a parental figure & when they are with me or in my home, they will respect me as such. They also realize that I am supportive of them & they can talk to me. They do know, however, that I won't tolerate any BS. I actually had more trouble with my oldest SS when he was 12 or 13, but most of that was caused by his mother. I think alot of problems with stepkids are caused by one parent wanting the kids to hate the SP. Sometimes there is not much to do about that but wait it out. When the kids get older, they will come around. One of the best things to happen to my older SS was winding up in juvenile court. It really set him straight. He's now 20, employed FT & just bought a home. There is hope!
    lbjbarbie

    Answer by lbjbarbie at 12:30 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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