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almost 3 year old won't follow orders, listen, stand or sit still.....help!

we just got back from trying dance class with our almost 3 yeard old. there were 20 other girls her age there that all followed directions and stood in line..but my kid? she's running around, playing in the corners, will not listen or follow simple commands. it's not that she can't do it, she just won't. she's always like this; runs around like a wild animal and won't listen. i try time outs, firm discussions, talking to her for days before we do whatever it is we''re doing to try and prepare her. none of it seems to be working. I think it's me....i'm pretty sure i have no clue what i'm doing and haven't been disciplining her properly. can someone please give me any tips on what the best course of action would be? any discipline strategies you've had luck with in this type of situation? i'd also love to hear from anyone else that has dealt with this too, i'm feeling pretty desperate right now

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JenJockisch

Asked by JenJockisch at 6:29 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • i have put my daughter in the corner since she was about 1 1/2. i know it seems a little early, but it worked pretty good. she still listens to others better, but she hates the corner and would rather do what she's told than being there. And there are corners EVERYWHERE! She has been in the corner at the docs office, the grocery store, you name it. dont be ashamed for disciplining your child. Other mothers will understand, and if they don't but it works, then youre not abusing her, so let them think what they want, you dont answer to them! lol let me know what you end up doing and how well it works! im always up for trying something new!
    nirelan

    Answer by nirelan at 6:40 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Time out each and every time she does this even in class...she will get embarrassed (maybe) in front of the others and stop...if that doesn't work, she no longer gets to go. At home, she still gets time outs and they last until she is quiet for 3 minutes (1 min. per year)...she may need a timer to keep her in time out if she doesn't understand..."stay there until you hear the beep then you can get up" That will eliminate the "mom is it time yet" "can I get up now"...even if she just got out of time out, if she acts up again, into time out she goes...YOu wouldn't believe how may ingredients are in a box of mac and cheese (I know, I've read them while DD was in time out at the grocery store)...My DD gets time out no matter where we are.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:41 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • OOOOHHHH, and be PERSISTANT!!!! you'll get there, dont worry! lol
    nirelan

    Answer by nirelan at 6:41 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • its hard i know, my daughter will be 3 next month and we just got over this. i put her in corners. i dont care where we are. she acts up and she knows where is she is going. she HATES the corner. i've tried other things like taking a toy and no tv. the corner works best for us. hang in there and i hope things get better
    marinewife52704

    Answer by marinewife52704 at 6:45 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Oh BTW, most of my DD's toys are bagged up in the "trash" (basement) because she wouldn't pick them up. They were there for a week and I put them back out...I never have a problem getting her to pick up now.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:46 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Well, how about leave. I mean, "honey, we are going to dance class, if you don't listen, or you don't stand where you are supposed to, then we will leave". Then, follow through. This is something that I'm assuming she wants to do, so use that, it doesn't hurt you to leave early, except that you may have wasted the trip, but the lesson will be a good one. "When you don't behave, you don't get to play."
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 7:52 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Be consistent and don't back down. Be patient, she is 3 not 13. Depending on when she turned 3, her attention span and listening can be much different that another 3 yr old. Older 3's are more capable of listening and following directions than a younger 3 yr old. Talk to her about how she likes dance class and if she wants to keep going, she needs to listen to the teacher and follow directions or she can't go anymore. If possible, don't stay where she can see you. She may listen better if you are not around.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:49 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Always follow through. Have you tried ignoring it? For some personalities the fact you give them any attention they will continue the bad behavior. Try to increase positive reinforcements. Cheer her on when she does things correctly. She sounds stubborn so it might take time to get her to change her ways.
    catgil85

    Answer by catgil85 at 2:18 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I know what your going through, I have twin boys and they will be 3yrs. old in 8 days...Its been really rought disciplining them...I've been putting them on time out since they were a yr old...I have to say that time out only worked for a little while now it doesn't work anymore...They think its funny and a game and they take turns putting each other on time out...I don't want to resort to hitting my kids although I have spanked them a few times on their hands and butts...I grew up in a house where there was a lot of physical fighting and I don't want any of that in my house...I know there is no such thing as a perfect house hold but I just want my kids to be respectful, have manners and not be bullies...Sometimes I get worried that my kids might have ADD/ADHD but I don't know....They are pretty smart for their age but they just don't listen when I tell them to stop misbehaving and they don't stay still.
    specialk25

    Answer by specialk25 at 9:17 PM on Aug. 2, 2012

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