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to "manly" to apologize

Monday morning me and my husband got in an argument. We was on our way to work. We get there and he gets out and im getting out and he starts pointing his finger and talking very loud (he never yells he says) I told him to please stop pointing and yelling and he kept on. Well we were walking across the parking lot and he saw this man walking toward us and he wouldnt shut up he made sure he knew he was mad at me. It was very embarrassing. I told him how I feel about it but he doesnt think he is wrong and so I have just avoided talking to him all I want is a sincere apology, but he is to manly. I even told him thats what I wanted but nooo. Does anyone else have a husband who is to "manly" to admit hes wrong and apologize?

Answer Question

Asked by heavenlypeace at 9:12 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • There is nothing "manly" about refusing to apologize and berating his spouse in public. My husband would never be so disrespectful.

    Answer by Busimommi at 9:14 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • well my dh doesnt say sry bc he says if u say it too much it means nothing any more. but he doesnt say it at all!!! i tell him that i would like for him to tell me sometimes and he for some reason thinks hes told me lol.. but we end up talkin about what happen and yet still no sry but we work it out!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Mine does not apologize. It's irritating.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 9:18 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • My dh is like this too. He has only apolagized one time, just recently. I couldn't believe it when he said it! It was on the phone, he said he was sorry for the way he acted the day before. I was in shock! I mean really the way he acted the day before wasn't that bad, he has done worse! So I didn't know what to say, I just said, "oh ok" I wanted to let him know I really liked that he apologized, so maybe he'd do it again in the future....but I missed my chance. So we'll see if he does he again.

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:26 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • This may be a time to choose your battles. Let things slide unless they are earth-shattering. In some martial arts the player wins by backing off. It is a choice. For marriage harmony, sometimes we back off. It confuses the husband, but he has nothing he can pinpoint, and he likely doesn't even know what happened. You choose to not fight. What difference does it really make, after all. Does it make you a doormat? Or does it make you a clever woman who wins without the husband even knowing it. Why do we require an apology anyway. It is our husband we are talking about. We became one person. Apologies not required- they make the guy lose face. It doesn't make us lose face, because we know we have to work hard to make the marriage successful. We may give 200%, but that's because we love him.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:33 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Mine has apologized maybe...twice? In 20 years together.

    Adding to that...he never even remembers arguments.

    I consider it a Y chromosome defect. For the most part it's not important enough for me to worry about.

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:40 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Bmat-- Im always the one apologizing for something I know was not my fault. This time I demand an apology because his stupidity and the way he embarrassed me. If hes gonna bitch me out it should at least be in private. He is the kind of person who is never wrong. I hate that about him but I love him with all my heart and I hate arguing with him. We never hardley argue but when we do its usually over something stupid. Two words-- IM SORRY thats all im asking for and if he loves me he will just get over his never wrong self, lose some pride and apologize.

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 9:46 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • my boyfriend says sorry but it goes like this, "i'm sorry you yelled at me last night" or "i'm sorry you got mad at me" he never takes the blame but i've come to learn that when he apoligizes like that he means he's sorry but is just to much of a man to admit he was wrong

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 10:04 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Not to be mean or anything but my fiance

    to me is a real man because he can say he is sorry...

    Answer by Dannee at 10:47 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • He's the one who looked stupid to the man and anyone else who saw him. I'd walk away and let him be shaking his finger at no one!

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:28 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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