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Okay, there is no way I could tell this whole story in the space alloted to me on here but I'll try to give as much info as possible. I'm currently going through a divorce. I've moved in with my dad and my stepmother. I'm 24 years old with a 14m/o. I'v never lived with my dad any longer than maybe 2 months at a time a few times when I was much younger. He never paid my mother child support for me other than my last 2 years of H.S. Okay here's my problem. I live here with them. I'm really trying to get on my feet My stepmom has 2 kids a son who is 14y/o and a daughter, 21y/o who is away at college. They are of course taking care of the boy who lives here but they're also paying for the girls tuition, rent and car note as well as ocassional nails done and clothes. I don't have any money coming as of yet other then the little $175 that my husband sends me every two weeks. Of course my son and I eat their food and (cont. below)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Sep. 2, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • they also buy his diapers and wipes. My step-mom also bought us some clothes when we got here about 2 months ago. My car had to be left where it was because I had to leave in a hurry. They never offered to help me get my car shipped to me. So my mom came through and gave me the money to get that done. However, I'm trying my best not to lose my car so that I can have a way to get around to job interviews and other things like that so I aksed if they could help me with the money to pay my car note b/c it's 2 payments behind. They started acting really different. My dad went offf on me, telling me how he's not made of money and he's already doing so much for me. Yes, he is doing a lot for me but I'm also really trying to get on my own two feet so that I don't have to ask him for anything. He's also doing a lot for these other kids that he NEVER did for me. I'm so confused and frustrated. I mean this lady's children have met(cont)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • my dad's family and I NEVER HAVE. I've never met his mom or a lot of his sisters and brothers. I just really don' know how I should feel right now. SHould I just be grateful for what they are doing for me now and forget about what he's never done for me. Should I just not even pay attention to the fact that they're doing all of these things for this woman's kids that was never done for me and my brothers. Should I not feel bad that at times they make me feel like I'm a financial burden on them rather than his ONLY daughter? Someone please tell me how I should feel. If you want or need to know more I will tell you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Why don't you go to the County Assistance Office and get on some assistance. I mean food stamps, WIC, etc. You can even get into Section 8 (HUD housing) if you qualify, and you most likely do. I even had clients (I work mental health in PA) had financial assistance with bills, etc. But you obviously have the internet at your dads, so get on there and find some phone numbers and start calling in the morning. All those offices can give you phone numbers to other assistance places. Start with WIC, they should be the most simple to find on the net, as far as phone number and location.
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 11:06 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You should be grateful he's giving you what he is. You cant expect him to owe you something because of the past. All you are doing is mooching off of him. As a mother you should be setting an example for your child and expecting things to just be given to you is ridiculous.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • MissHeidi304, Well, they are trying to make me get on PA anyway, even though I really don't want to because my husband keeps threatening to take my son. SO I know that if sees that I'm on PA he will go to a judge and say that I can't take care of my child and really take him from me. He is in the military so he can afford to take care of him. Plus they will make him pay child support which will really make him try to take my son from me. It's just a big mess. -OP

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Anon09, you didn't have to be rude. I'm not mooching off of him. I will be starting school in january and getting paid over a thousand dollars a month from my GI BIll just to go to school. Until then I need somewhere to stay. Like I said, I don't know how I should feel. That's shy I'm asking for advice. There's no need to be mean. I also said that there is more to the story that you don't know. Thanks for your input though. You son't think that it would be hard to watch your father be something to someone else's kids that he never was to you???? -OP

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • You really cant focus on what your dad hasnt done for you you just have to move forward. I dont think a judge will say that you cant take care of your son bc you are on PA. I really dont even know how your ex could find that out unless you told him. You are only doing what you have to do to take care of your self and your kid. Bite the bullet honey and get any help you can. In a couple of years when you have it all worked out you will be a lot stronger. GOOD LUCK!!
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 11:17 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • Well if I get on public assistance won't they make me give them his name so that they can go after him for child support. I'm not a bad mother, I'm just going through a hard time right now. I don't expect things to be handed to me either, I'm just confused and need advice. -OP

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • I wasn't beng rude I just wasnt sugar coating it. And I also had a deadbeat dad who would give his step children everything. After awhile you need to realize you shouldn't rely on anyone except yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

  • If your ex is in the military how is he going to be able to care for a child fulltime? I wouldn't worry so much over that. You have to be proven unfit for him to get full custody of your child. As for your Dad, just let it go, don't ask him for anything, show him what you can do on your own. Go get assistance from the state, give the 175 you get every 2 weeks to the lender on your car, tell them it's the best you can do until you go to work full time. Or you may be able to put the 2 payments on the end of your loan. You need to call them and make arrangements or your credit is going to go in the toilet. Make a list of priorities, set some goals and get your life back so you don't have to rely on anyone else. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:21 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

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