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What do you think of these "parents"... could you bite your tounge?

These are our neighbors.
He has a 3 yo that he doesnt pay CS on (so bad he had his license revoked) She has a 4yo that lives with them. And they have a baby who is in foster care because of alleged abuse (I dont think they beat the baby like the state says but who knows
They both smoke cigarettes nonstop and drink at least once a week. She doesnt work and he was just fired for never going to work. They are in debt, constantly on the verge of having their power disconnected and might even get evicted at the end of this month if he doesnt pull a job out his butt. They dont have the money for bills but always have cigarettes and new movies and games/game systems. They dont even have a car. They are always bumming rides off of me, and lately Ive been making up excuses not to.
They had the nerve to whine about the foster family not sending diapers to the visit at their home with the baby... and wonder why the CONT

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (28)
  • I think you are too much up in their biz since you have to make a post about someone else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • CONTINUED>
    state doesnt think the home is fit for a baby, shouldnt they be making the impression they are ready to have the baby back.. and if you cant even afford diapers then you have no business having him back.
    All of this is going on and she is always complaining about how the 4yo is such a brat... Hes a normal 4yo... seriously.. And he is even worse, since its not his kid he punishes him severely (the kid is always in the corner or his room for as little as playing with his toys in the wrong "way" (as in not making the car drive but fly kind of thing)

    Oh, and about the living in poverty with possibly no lights his favorite thing to say is "well i was raised like that so I dont see the big deal"

    Im having a hard time biting my tounge. I would stay out of it, but becasue of DH's freindship with him they always tell us everything! What would you do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • OP to the ANON :41

    I would love nothing more to avoid this couple and not know so much but my DH is best friends from way back with the guy so its hard to avoid them or tell them whats what without hurting their relationship.

    I told you all the back story so I could get advice on what to say or do about this so I can have some freaking peace and quiet from their drama for once. Thanks for your help
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • All you can do is refuse to continue giving them rides and mind your business. Paying your bills on time does not make you better, it just means you have money. Everyone falls on hard times and usually people pull them selves out of them. It is unfortunate their baby was taken from the home, but if abuse is suspected it was for the best. What they spend their money on, although it sounds like they are very wasteful and irresponsible, is not your business. If you are concerned about the 4 yo, and he is being abused, call the authorities, otherwise, stay out of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • OP to ANON :52

    I know that paying my bills on time does not make me better, DH and I have lived in a tent before. We struggled to get to the crappy apartment we have and appreciate the fact that we can have internet (our only luxery) But our child comes first, that is why we pay our important bills and buy diapers before ANYTHING else. That is why we decided buying a car was more important than the million and one movies I want to buy (since we dont have cable or even regular tv) or the new clothes I am desperately in need of.
    These people dont do that, they dont prioritize, they are wasteful. He got fired for not going to work, he spent his days palying video games instead! She wont work for whatever reason, and not that she cant work, Ive been telling her places that are hiring all summer, she WONT. Thats not hard times, that is laziness
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • i agree with you and i would be going nuts.. if i were them step one would be doing what ever it is to get my child back, paying my bills and makeing sure there is a roof over our heads and food in kids tummys. and if i cant buy butts for myself then so be it..u give up things. i pay my bills not always on time but there paid. and when it comes to my candles on sale ( my weakness lol ) or food,gas i get food and gas. kids are #1 and giveing them normalcey as best i can. i would still stop giving them rides and doing them favors. and i will admit sooner or later u might have to say im sorry but kids are first. ( or tell her instead of buying a vidio game u couldve bought diapers. ) maybe hearing the truth will open her eyes or shut her up. as for your dh he should tell his buddy u need to get your life strighten out. i had a friend that was all about her not the kids then would whine no diapers.truth hurts but its real.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • DH's best buddy or not, do you really want your child(ren) hanging around all the irresponsibility and laziness or hanging around a mom that punishes her own child severely? I would hope that you wouldn't. Its very simple, don't hang around them.

    "I told you all the back story so I could get advice on what to say or do about this so I can have some freaking peace and quiet from their drama for once. Thanks for your help"

    You know what you have to do. Stay out of their drama by minding your own business and don't offer any more rides. Common sense.
    Mama_Kimmy

    Answer by Mama_Kimmy at 8:39 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • If they are that bad, call CPS, if you can't do that, mind your own business.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Tell Hubby he needs to model better friend choices for your own kids. Why does he want to be friends with such scum? I always tell my kids, that personality is not who the person is. If someone has a fun personality they can still have rotten character. If you just have to butt in, add up what you can see that they spend on cigarettes and games and tell them how it would pay for power or make a payment on a cheap car or it would at least buy a bus pass. If they're getting welfare, I would consider reporting them for fraud.
    callmeann

    Answer by callmeann at 9:08 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • When you say you can't hold your tongue what can't you hold your tongue about? What would you like to say to them? Maybe write it down and get it out. It may make you feel better.

    As for saying anything to them. I would come from a place of love but not accuse or question them in a way that would make them defensive.

    I would also probably do what I could do to help them for their kids sake. But that is me.

    If you just need to get your feelings off your chest then either talk to you husband and rant or write it down.

    Remember that these people were babies once too and the way they are is how they have learnt to deal with the world. You can't change people, you just have to accept them if you want to feel ok. But personally when kids are involved I feel the need to help out for their sake.

    Hope you feel better about it!
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 9:11 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

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