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Does anyone else ever not like her kid?

I find sometimes that I cannot stand my 12 year old girl. She is nothing like me, she can be mean and disrespectful at times. As a single mom for 18 years (I also have a son--who is almost perfect), I feel often unappreciated and disrespected. I deserve better treatment from her. How do I make her understand that her behavior is making me not like her?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (16)
  • yes! There are days I'm not fond of my kids and not like them much but I never stop loving them. Same as my husband there are days his not my favorite but I love him.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:22 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Of course I love her, she is my daughter. But I want to LIKE her as a person and find it difficult. I feel like a failure because she doesn't seem to be the person I raised her to be--if that makes sense. I love her.........maybe she is too young to understand.....I don't know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • My mom doesn't like me because I'm like my dad. I never spent much time with him, I must have inherited the asshole gene. We are both sarcastic, irritating, and stubborn. Atleast I know that I'm a jerk and I try to keep it to a minimum.
    OwensMama824

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 9:36 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • That is really funny, because that is exactly what I told her and she called me evil. Her dad acted just like her and he was not a nice person. He also abandoned her totally----so she got really upset when I said that. I didn't know how else to make her understand that she acts like a jerk! I thought if she heard that she would think 'o, gee, I don't want to be like him. I better cut it out", but she just got mad at me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Anon, I could have asked this question. My daughter is 15, almost 16, and is unbelievably obnoxious...I don't know if it's because she's a teenager or if she's just a butthole. I've done all I can to raise her properly, all I can do now is continue to point out when she's particularly nasty and wait for the day she goes off to college lol.
    benjamink

    Answer by benjamink at 9:57 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Oh once in a while I wish my two oldest would run away with the circus. I think that's pretty normal. I just think back to when I was that age, and I didn't appreciate the things my parents did for me either. I don't think most kids do until they are older.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:11 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • never said you didn't love your kid. Geesh don't get defensive. I have had days where I just wanted to strangle them all..eye rolling, attitudes glore and my personal favorite the two teenagers ganging up on the 3 yo. My oldest is also 15 and I just want to bang my head on the wall days. I remeber going through my mide to late teens and I hated my parents. God they were stupid, ignorant and just mean all the time (I'm sure that was me and not them). At about 20 I loved my mom and considered her my best friend. I think as parents are goals is to survive the teens and know that our kids are better adults and we raised them right. I think their goals as teens is to see how strong we really are. lol.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 12:15 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • and since I can't spell today ignore all my typos.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 12:16 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • One thing you need not do is refer to your son as "near perfect" that is detrimental to a child.. Believe me.. I have been told my entire life that my older brother was the perfect child, never got in trouble (He just never got caught and would sneak around) and had I been born first I would have been the only child. It's normal to have dislike for your child's actions but when you start actually disliking them it becomes a problem. Kids pick up on this and can act out on this alone. She is also in those awkward pre-teen years where everything is stressful and that can cause a pre-teen to act out as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Yes sweetie, I have had days where I just didnt like them. ALL of them...LOL....My oldest is 15 and my second is 11 and I have struggled more with those two than the boys. Just like you, I want to like my girls but sometimes their behavior and the way they treat one another is so horrible that it makes me wonder if I really gave birth to both of them. They are just so very different. Its got nothing to do with love so I know what you mean about loving them, but not liking them. We would never stop loving our kids, but liking them is a totally different scenario. One thing I noticed is that you said your son was almost perfect. Thats not possible. No one is almost perfect and if you think he is, then maybe your dd is picking up on some favortism. We always favor the child who behaves the best. I know that from experience, but try to never verbalize that to her or in her earshot. One day, she will be likable again...I promise!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:14 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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