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Does your husband ever push you to do things other than what you want?

I am going to be going to school starting this winter to get my bachelor's degree. My goal is to then go on to med school and become a pediatrician. My husand thinks this is a horrible idea and I should "just become a nurse practitioner," instead. He thinks it is faster (Um, last time I checked, it takes 4 years to become a nurse, then you need 1-2 years clinical experience to even consider NP school, then that takes 3 years) and that I can become an MD from there (So, I should make more work for myself?).
I told him that was a horrible idea and that no part of me wants to or has EVER wanted to be a nurse. I want to do something that I will enjoy and I'm not going to go through that amount of schooling to do something I DON'T want to do. Does your husband ever push you to do things differently than how you want?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (11)
  • Sort of....before we had kids I was doing my prerequisite work for Pharmacy school. I only need 2 more classes before I could apply. Then we had 2 children and now I only want to be a SAHM (he makes a nice income, so income itself isn't a factor). He has suggested many times that I finish up and apply to pharmacy school. Well the closest university to us that has a pharmacy school is 3 hours away. I don't really know how he thinks we can pull that off (if I were to even get accepted there). His job isn't really easy to transfer with, we own our home where we are, I couldn't drive 3 hours each way every day for school and I'm not staying away from children 5 days a week for 3years. So right now my priorities are different from what they were and he's just thinking of the money that I could be making.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 9:37 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Sounds like he was trying to stear you to the cheaper wrought. As in school price.


    My DH has always told me I could do what I want.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:47 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Yes. Yesterday I wanted chicken and dumplings for dinner, but he yelled and screamed because he wanted spaghetti. We had spaghetti. I didn't want that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Answered at 9:47 AM on Sep. 3, 2009 by: louise2
    Sounds like he was trying to stear you to the cheaper wrought. As in school price.
    My DH has always told me I could do what I want.

    He is actually trying to push me toward what he thinks will be faster. He doesn't get it. I am not going to go through all that school to do what I don't want to do. He said, "Well, I want you to do what will make you happy." I said, "Then STOP listening to Mr. Knowitall (a family friend, love him to death, but he IS a knowitall) and the corpsmen at work and just listen to what I'm telling you." I won't have to pay for undergrad b/c DH's GI bill will pay for that, and instate med school actually isn't totally unatainable (about $25/year). We'll continue to live on his income and use mine to pay the loans off 100% before we start using my income for anything.
    He just will listen to ANYTHING someone else suggests and it pisses me off, LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • If you're just starting college this fall, then this is all kind of a moot point. I applaud your initiative and encourage you to do what will make you happy, but I know tons of people who started out thinking they wanted to be docs and ended up in a totally different field (that they are totally happy with). Just take it slow, make sure you get enough time to study and work hard!
    To answer the question - no, my dh will pretty much let me do whatever I want
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:04 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • If you can manage kids and straight As, then go to medical school!

    Definitely ask him to explain his position to you.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:13 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Well, I just have one child and lots of helping hands for him. As long as I can manage the time to study while still getting plenty of time with my son, it should work out great. :) I'm very excited.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Tell him if he loves you, he wouldn't put a price tag or a deadline on your dreams.
    katzmeow726

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 10:41 AM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Be strong about your dreams and goals, if you don't stand up and follow your dreams you will resent him later. Your husband should be supporting you, this would piss me off and I would not tolerate it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Answered at 2:25 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 by: Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Be strong about your dreams and goals, if you don't stand up and follow your dreams you will resent him later. Your husband should be supporting you, this would piss me off and I would not tolerate it.

    It does upset me and I told him I'm NOT doing it. I'm either going to do what I want or I'm not doing it at all (and I certainly don't want to not do it). He dropped it and, hopefully, it doesn't come up again. It just really upset me that he would listen to someone else over his own wife, especially about something as important as his WIFE'S goals.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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