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if your SO just decided he didnt want to get married but you did ... would you leave him to find what u want?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Besides the marriage, is he what you want? If he is committed to you but does not want the marriage, no, I would stay. I am in a similar situation, only my SO is the one who DOES want to get married. I told him if we are still together in ten years he can buy me a ring.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • You have to decide how important marriage is to you. Personally, I think marriage is very important - people look differently at people who are married and people who are living together. I think that would carry over into my children's lives and I would never want my decisions to affect them, they come first. I also want the commitment that comes from marriage. I would never settle for anything less.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:26 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • yes, i woud leave him to find what i want.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:28 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • If he loves you and shows 100% interest in only you then dont go,maybe marriage later down the road is in the stars for you two.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 12:28 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • : missanc -- i tell him all the time ppl look at us differently ... and he said no they dont. i waited a long time , now he wants me to wait longer , and i dont want to. i dont see the point in waiting again if hes going to change his mind AGAIN
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • It depends...are there kids involved? I may not leave as easily if so. But if it's just the two of you...I'd leave him and find someone who wanted to dedicate their life to me. It does make a difference, the action says a lot both to you AND to those around you. People do look at unmarried people differently. Plus, in the event something should happen to him, you are left with nothing legally if you're not married. If he really cared, he would make sure you would be taken care of and not be so concerned about getting married. It would worry me about his lack of commitment - that maybe he isn't as serious about the relationship as you are. Good luck...that's a toughie...
    goldenfox

    Answer by goldenfox at 12:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I think no marriage shows a lack of comittment. And the truth is people look differently at a couple who is not married and has children. It might not be fair but it's true. It's onething to live together when there are no children involved but I don't think a man who has children with a woman but won't marry her is much of a man. It's like he's saying if it doesn't work out, no big deal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Answered at 12:49 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 by: Anonymous -- OMFG come home w/ me!!! ur saying the same thing i am , but he dont see it! WTF?! god! i regret not havin any friends who are grls my whole life ...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Okay so my question to all of you who say that ppl look at you differently if you are not married is:
    Who cares what other ppl think of your life? I mean if you are happy why does it matter what others think of your lifestyle? You know I was in the same situation not so long ago. My dh told me he was never gonna get married again. That didn't mean he wasn't committed to me cause he was, no question in my mind. I knew eventually he would marry me and he did. He was just very scared to get hurt again. My advice would be if you are happy with your so other than the marriage thing, stick it out. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!!8) I do wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Anon :21 - "Who cares what other ppl think of your life? I mean if you are happy why does it matter what others think of your lifestyle?"

    I don't really care what other people think of ME, but I do care what other people think of my children due to MY actions. They shouldn't have to bear scars of other people's insensitivities because I made a choice that they had to live with.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:40 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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