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Do you think it is possible to teach teens about abstinance AND safe sex combined?

I teach my kids safe sex and abstinance at the same time and Im wondering if others think its possible. I feel Im teaching my kids to be responsible on all aspects, I want them to be informed and I want them to understand that not only are there physical responsibilities with sex but also emotional responsibility. Any thoughts? NO bashing, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it.


Asked by SuperMomof3kids at 1:30 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I completely agree with MommyLee08 and OP. A combination of the two is your best bet. You know they're not going to remain abstinent, so you want them to be educated when they do make the choice to have sex. I believe in sex education totally. I wish more ppl would see to it the young are educated sooner. As for who should do the teaching I know I'm going to ruffle some feathers for this but it should be mandatory in schools. Parents should be able to do it themselves if they don't like the methods of the school. One way or another, educating teens about sex is vital to preventing (or at least greatly reducing) STDs and unplanned pregnancies. They will have it, it's up to us to make sure they do it responsibly. That's why I think the idea of combining the abstinence with safe sex education is perfect. It will make them wait til a good time to have sex and when they do, it will be done responsibly.

    Answer by geminigirl18 at 1:47 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Of course it is. Abstinence is the best form of "safe sex".....none at all. But, if they do choose to do it, they should be well informed on the consequences and prevention of STD's and pregnancy. I think they should go hand-in-hand honestly.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 1:35 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • We try to teach our 3 teens about abstinence and safe sex too. We encourage them to wait until they are much older to have sex, but try to keep them informed at the same time, in case they choose to not listen to us. I dont want them to assume that they are invincible (spelling) against any of the odds for contracting STD's and the like, or having to deal with pregnancy.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 1:47 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I agree. I teach my kids that abstinence is the only 100% foolproof way to avoid pregnancy and STD's. I am encouraging them to practice abstience until they are mature and responsible enough to handle a baby and/or all the other consequences that can come along with sex. But I also make sure they know that if they do choose to have sex, there are condoms and BC and they need to use those to lessen their chances of pregnancy and STD.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:59 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Of course! Several studies have concluded that children taught about sexuality and birth control have later and safer sex than children taught abstinence only.

    Don't forget to include the banana and condom talk - it may save your child's life.

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:26 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Teenagers are going to have sex. It is best you tell them everything they need to know regarding pregnancy and stds, and let them on there way. If you make sex taboo, they will want to do it even more! Educate your children to make good choices!!

    Answer by amberlynnpetree at 5:01 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Give them the straight poop and don't leave anything out. Being shy or secretive about sex wont help anyone. Better they learn from you then pick up bad information from someone else. Do you know there is a whole generation of women who never have seen their own parts or their mans? Seriously! I googled female reproductive system we talked about it then I handed my DD a mirror and told her to go to her room and familiarize herself with the territory. If you grow up knowing condoms are a must you take it for granted that you will use one and it will not cross your mind to do it without suiting up for the occasion. Talk early and talk often. I got pregnant at ten because my mother hadn't thought me old enough for the birds and the bees talk- don't make that mistake.

    Answer by Angelbluewingsz at 5:06 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • what is the banana and condom talk?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Anon 6:30... that is when you take a banana and a condom and teach the kid how to put a condom on correctly without breaking it. Very useful info, just in case.

    Yes, safe sex and absitinece can be taught together and it is taught together in my son's middle school. That is also what I teach my son.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:36 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I have had this same conversation all summer with my 16yo dd who thinks she has met her soulmate! I don't think there is any other way to say wait till your older that I haven't said more than once. I have also told her that I know at some point they will have sex, later would be better than sooner. And have made sure that to have the smart and safe conversation. I know she is tired of hearing me, but I keep on saying it.
    I want her to realize that sex with change their relationship and even she will change how she feels about things. The emotional side is as important as the physical side. And that is hard to explain. But yes to answer your question you can and should teach both.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 9:02 PM on Sep. 3, 2009