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Found out my daughter and her best friend have been smoking cigarettes

Ok long story short...I found out last weekend that my 12 yr old daughter and her best friend have been sneaking mine and the other mom's cigarettes for about the last year. I'm upset with my daughter both for smoking and for sneaking and have grounded her for two weeks. I talked to the other Mom and although she was upset she has decided to let her daughter continue to smoke since she thinks her daughter is already hooked. So my problem is my daughters friend is now allowed to smoke so how will I convince my daughter to quit. I started smoking around that age so i know how it is but it's just hard when it's my daughter. Don't bash me I'm just looking for some advice on the situation.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Perhaps tell her you will stop smoking too? Not bashing, just saying if the mother is willing to give it up, maybe it will mean more to the daughter to try to stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Why don't you show her on the internet or on books how ppl lungs look after you been smoking and how it may affect you in the feature?
    effie777

    Answer by effie777 at 1:40 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • other mom think that as long as her daughter is hooked...wow i would like to bash her one

    good idea for you to quit, good for you and a good example, kids who have parents that smoke are so much more likely to smoke, but not telling you something that you do not already know

    i would TRY to not allow my daughter to hang out with this other child, the child does not sound bad, but the child's mother is a bad influence, what will this mother do when she thinks her daughter is already hooked on drinking or drugs or risky behavoir
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 1:45 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • maybe you should set the example and not smoke anymore.
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:46 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • call a local hospital and see if she can observe the lung cancer ward... you Should quit to show her what that does to you too....
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:06 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • and disallow that friendship with the kid that is allowed to smoke too.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:06 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I am trying my hardest not to bash so here it goes: Become a positive role model for your dd one that doesn't participate in self-destructive behavior like smoking, one that respects her body and one that loves her child so much that is willing to defeat an addiction to nicotine to show her child that no matter what choices you have made in the past, you have a new start every morning and it is up to you.

    I see really bad things coming your way if you don't stop smoking now, studies show that children of smokers are more likely to smoke themselves and to later in life engage in more self-destructive behavior graduating to experiment with drugs and alcohol.

    I hope you are still on time to turn this around for your child's sake.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 2:07 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Check this out...I didnt want my daughter to hang around this girl at school anymore due to the other girl using very fowl language. It is our rights as parents to request they transfer classes so they are not together. You also have the right to do a locker/ backpack/ and/or desk inspections at the school. I would also ground her a lot longer than 2 weeks. Give her choers and tell her she needs to work off what she has stollen from you. Think of the real world! if an adult steals they have to at the minimum do community service. Think of it that way. 2 weeks is a slap on the hand. Good Luck
    busymom1107

    Answer by busymom1107 at 2:08 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I agree that it would be great if you could stop smoking with her. I don't see how you can make her really stop if she doesn't want to but you can at least set an example. Maybe get her teachers involved to make sure she isn't smoking at school.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 3:29 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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