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15 yr boy! Help

My 15 ds has decided because he did not like our punishment that he is moving back to his dads. There is no structure there and he has done this before. Do I put my foot down and say no way and make the x take me to court to get custody? I know DS will be pissed but I think I should go with my gut. Thoughts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • If he leaves, call the cops and report him as a run away. He can go to juvenile detention or he can go home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • id put ur foot down
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • listen to your gut
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 2:06 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Listen to your gut, if he ends up with your ex...your ex can still try to take you to court for custody and he will actually have physical custody of him if he's living with dad. I would not allow this try to work things out with your son and if he gets mad, well....oh well. If dad still try's to take you to court at least you have the physical custody of your son.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • i would let him go to his dad's bc i think a kid should have a choice who to live with, honestly. but if his dad's home is not stable or whatever than i would take it to court. but if u force him to stay with you he is gonna end up not likin u at all and do all kinds of things to piss you off and end up in trouble.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Do not allow him to go live with dad. We asked my husbands ex- mother in law and her boyfriend to help us with my husbands son, behavioral problems and the bio mom convinced them to take us to court for child support and custody. They got child support and temp. physical custody of him and now we are looking into getting a lawyer to get custody back. It's a huge mess!


    I would keep your son home and try to deal with him and work it out with him.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • You should really try to talk to him. Let him know that you are not punishing him or trying to be mean to him (by making him stay)but that you love him and want him to stay home. Tell him why and explain to him that you want the very best for him and feel that you are the one who can best provide that. The most important thing is to just talk to him about it.
    But if you feel like he should stay with you, you know what's best, if he goes and lives with your ex anyway, if he doesn't have sole custody than if your son gets in trouble, it's on your shoulders!!!
    and like anon 1:59 said call the cops if he trys to run!!!
    Jesusfanatic

    Answer by Jesusfanatic at 6:49 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I can't really give you any sound advice,without knowing all the facts,just like another lady son wanted to go with his father because his step-father was verbally abusing him,and calling him jerks. Most of the times there's an underlining reason for a child to start acting out.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • At 15, this is a tough one to call. Your son is probably going to rebel against you regardless of the decision you make. It sounds like he also likes to play both parents against each other. In his eyes, this is to his advantage...if he follows your rules, he doesn't get to do everything he wants. If he bucks the system and runs to his dad's every time the going gets a little tough, then, he is obviously going to get his way...In his mind, it's probably a win/win situation for him. Or lose/lose depending on how you look at it.
    Maybe at 15, you should let him go to his dad's for awhile. Even tell him you'll help him get his bags ready. Not in a mean or angry way, but in a matter of fact tone. Tell him that you've done the best you can for him and that if he's not going to live by your rules, then maybe it is time for him to live with Dad. At first, he'll probably act like he's happy there with the father, but after some
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 9:04 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • time..once you can both calm down and look at things from a different viewpoint, I bet he will realize just how good he had it when he was at home.
    Sometimes a little tough love and a reality check can go a long way....
    If you don't take a stand now, I honestly don't see any way that you will ever get through to him.
    Right now, he knows that you'll do whatever he wants in order to keep him at home with you. Don't play into his hands..Mind games are a scary thing, but we all know that teens have the mentalitly that they are invincible.
    Now is the time for you to take back control...that means to live in your home under your roof, he has to follow the rules. Not just when HE feels like it, but ALL the time. If he is unable to do so, then he is free to go live with his dad.
    I know this is a hard time for you, but try to stand firm on this one. He's at a very hard age for not only you but him too. He needs some rules to
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 9:09 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

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