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i just cant get over this!

my mother has always treated me horribly and after I got married and she turned on my husband I cut her out of my life. it is hard on my grandparents who I love and respect and hate hurting them by hating her daughter, but I cant find any way past it. not only does she not like my husband but she has nver ever said even one semi nice thing about his family, but untill she turned on my hubby she was invited to my kids birthdays and stuff and always pure eveil to hubbys fam. I really dont se anyway to avoid this crap exept by getting rid of the problem = My Mom, and by gitting rid of I dont man killing or ven harming, I just mean continuing to ignore. also she 'homeschooled' us and nevr taught us anything my 17 y/o sister just learned to read last year!! this woman is a 'holyier than thou' but still such a reched woman,, so my Q? is--- if this was your mother what would you do? Im putting in religion b/c Im a Christian.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • You've done EXACTLY the right thing.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:44 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • If this has been on going for some time have you thought to talk to your mother? Ask her why she treats you and your family like she does?
    But to answer your question, I had to do the same thing with my whole family some yrs ago. When my dd's started becoming mothers, they then decided that having family together than fighting or arguing ...was more important...
    Maybe in time your mother will see just how much she is losing when she is so harsh towards you and yours... try talking to her, but until she sees what the hurt she is causing, then I would not allow her around the family... do keep in touch with your grandparents, maybe they can help your mother see what she is doing....

    Good Luck my dear...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 7:47 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Sadly there is power in your words and they do have an effect. No matter how much someone does evil to us we need to watch what we say about them.
    Read Romans 12 and 1 Cor 13.

    I know people may think Im nuts repeating this but, it is my passion to see people get the message of Grace, Honor, Love and the Finished work of the cross. I wont shove it but I will point you into that direction. The rest is up to you. You cannot change your mother's heart but you can change yours. Bounderies are to be set, I am not against that but try to change the things you say about her. Do you know the scripture about Honoring your Mother and Father?
    Do you know that speaking words of life over them regardless of what they have done to you is Honoring them. Do you know what happens when we don't? Our lives are shortened. Why is that? Because we still carry unforgiveness and bitterness and that is like a cancer within. Continued ...
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 7:55 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Deuteronomy 5:16 'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 7:56 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • WE ONLY GET ONE MOTHER IN THIS WORLD GOOD OR BAD WE ARE STUCK WITH HER, I DON'T KNOW THE REASONS FOR THE DISLIKE FOR YOUR HUSBAND BUT HAVE YOU EVER BOTHERED TO ASK? COMMUNICATION CAN BE A WONDERFUL THING WHEN USED WISELY. WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, (I AM NOT SAYING IT WILL HAPPEN) BUT HUSBANDS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO LEAVE, THEIR WIVES AND ALSO THEIR CHILDREN BUT YOU DON'T SEE A MOTHER LEAVING HER CHILD ALL THAT OFTEN, ALTHOUGH IT HAPPENS TOO. WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS MOTHERS ARE UNIQUE AND CHILDREN DON'T COME WITH AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, WE AS HUMAN MAKE MISTAKES WITH THE BEST OF INTENTIONS, I WOULD TRY TO RECONCILE WITH THE ONE WHO GAVE BIRTH TO YOU, JUST BECAUSE SHE DESERVES THAT MUCH.
    IF SHE WERE MY MOTHER I WOULD SHOW HER THAT REGARDLESS OF WHAT SHE MAY HAVE DONE, I FORGIVE HER AND TRY TO MAKE AMENDS, HATE IS A FEELING THAT CONSUMES YOU BUT IT HAS TO BE TWICE AS HARMFUL IF IT IS YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD. GOOD LUCK!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:28 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • And people wonder why I'm all for a little oversight for homeschoolers. If you can do it fine but if you're not capable and you're going to do your kids a disservice by pretending to educate them at home then send them to school!

    /rant. Sometimes we just need to cut people out of our lives. My sister has been treating me like crap for quite a while and I decided to just pretend she doesn't exist. Pretty easy since she's not talking to me. I did try to work things out but she ignored my messages and just spread stories all over the internet about me so I just gave up.

    If she decides to grow up and treat people with respect then you can bring her back in to her life but your first concern should be your family. If having her in your life makes your family miserable then you need to get her out of your life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I think when someone becomes toxic in your life, you must cut them out. Sad but true. Even our own family members can become toxic. You've done the right thing. You're Mom has to deal with her own fate as far as being cruel.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:10 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • WOW this sounds like my mom she dont like my hubby I know its cause he is black and im white but I love him and my mom is always thinking im not happy and I am .. my hubby stopped coming around my mom cause she would no even speak to him.. But my sister is not even married and is dating this white guy and she is already calling him her son in law. I get hurt all the time by my mom but I pray that God will work everything out If you need to talk Pm me i can use someone to talk to also God bless

    hinson7169

    Answer by hinson7169 at 12:01 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Deuteronomy 5:16 'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you.

    i think you need to reread this scripture. there is more to it then just what is written there. you are only to honor them if they live in rightousness. so if her mother is not doing that then there is nothing she can do about it. so no she doesnt have to honor her mother.

    put your self in her shoes, she needs to protect her husband and children from those who could cause them harm or problems that is her duty as a wife and mother. so she is doing the right thing!!
    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 12:22 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Will unfortantely I could relate but my mom past away this year and if she was here we would probably still have some issues. I truly loved her though we had arguments. After argument I would sometimes cry cuz I felt bad we were so distant. She was never nice nor said. Positive things. She would put me down and discourage. I knew she had a lot happen to her though as far as disappointment in life and upset at God. I really think it was the work of the enemy causing disruption and ill feelings plus she was getting older. I recommend "The Mom Factor" its a Christian book and it will help you set healthy bounderies. At the end of the day she is you mom. If you are a christian pray pray pray ask God to help you love her and respect her still. try a counselor just as a mediator to help you have a good closure and some peace.
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:27 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

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