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What do you do when your husband wakes you in the middle of the night to have sex?

I have been coughing all week and it makes my nights very rough. I can't sleep worth a damn this week and my son has been waking periodically in the middle of the night, so I have two things working against me when it comes to sleep. Last night he woke me up and tried to get it on with me, but I said, "If you want to have sex let's do it really fast because I want to get back to sleep. I have been up coughing all night and I haven't slept much. If you would have pursued this before we fell asleep I would have been fine with it but right now I am tired." He got up, walked away, and shut the door without saying a word.

I know he needs it, but dang, can't he try when we are both awake? What do you do? What would you have said or done?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • WOW sugahmamma; well that's one way of looking at life I suppose...

    I'm sorry I would just never do anything I wasn't in the mood for just because or to 'take one for the team'.

    I like a few pp made it clear do not wake me. And it isn't about not feeling well or kids wearing you down etc...I'm a DEEP sleeper and if he were to wake me I would most certianly not be in a 'giving' mood. More of a homicidal rage mood...

    If things are all good on the home front; then he knows he has an option before we fall asleep in bed or on special occassions in the morning after we've woken up.

    I actually feel there are many ways to create intimacy between partners; sex isn't the end all be all of our world...quite honestly as good as it may feel at the moment; in general I could take it or leave it...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I pretend like I'm still sleeping;) I need my sleep, sex can wait.

    Answer by theutilitarian at 9:43 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I'd have whipped my pajamas off and gone at it. Cough or no cough, I wouldn't turn it down when it was offered.

    If you're not interested I think a simple no works better than 'make it fast' because saying he can do it if he takes 2 minutes or less just implies it's a chore. Saying you're too tired and feeling under the weather is less likely to bruise his ego.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 9:45 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I told my DH a long time ago. I was not into this "middle of the night thing". So do not even try it.
    Or the morning thing either. At night when we go to bed or nothing at all.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:45 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I love getting woke up with foreplay, leading to sex. However, my husband never does that if he knows i've not been feeling well, or overtired from any of lifes many events.

    Maybe telling him (stoke his ego) that you really enjoy it with him, but it's hard to enjoy and "let loose" when you're not feeling well, or overtired from mom duties? Just make sure when you're feeling well and rested to jump on him once in a while. He's sure to appreciate it, be a little more considerate in the future, and get excited that you intiated it. Men seem to like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • well i have to say i love it when he wakes me up like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I'm with louise2 - my hubby is clear that I do not appreciate being woke up in the middle of the night and he never tries. And I'm not a morning person either so that doesn't usually fly.

    Answer by goldenfox at 9:52 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I'd think how great it is that he wants me and I'd rock his world

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:55 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • haha! I just tell my boyfriend "NUH HUH" in a really tired voice and he gets the picture... most of the time.. but it's okay, we've all just randomly blurted out the harsh truth before, he'll get over it! Getcha some sleep girl!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Wow! Guys do that? OMG I thought I was the only person who actually tried to wake my SO up for sex. He never does it, though, and none of my friends have ever said anything about their husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends doing it! Sorry I'm not really answering your question lol, I just didn't know that there were guys who cared enough about sex to actually pick it over sleep (all the guys I've known would probably prefer sleep lol).

    Anyway, if it had been me, I'd have jumped him, but I don't get enough sex and I'm an insomniac, so I can live with little to no sleep. Between sleep and sex, I'd pick sex. Even sick, I pick sex. Just me, though, I'm weird lol.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 10:09 PM on Sep. 3, 2009