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14 y/o to visit friend---what is your rule

I have a daughter that is 14 and wants to go visit a boy friend of hers and she is mad that I am requiring to talk to the parents. What do you do? I like to have confirmation that there will be an adult there. When I told her that she got mad and said that was stupid and she was not going to do that.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • My parents would have KILLED me if I'd have said something like that to them. Her reaction tells me that no adults are going to be there. Tell her he can come to YOUR house. Don't hover too much if he does come....but be visible. Be friendly. NO CLOSED DOORS....
    SterlingLegend

    Answer by SterlingLegend at 10:00 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Then she does not get to go then. Right? (As in you will talk to the parents).
    Or let the boy come over to your house. That is better. Your house your rules.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:02 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Good for you mom. If your daughter is reluctant to give you the number to speak to his parents then you should be sure that something isn't right with the situation. I personally don't have that problem yet as my daughter is only 12 and just started junior high, but if this situation should arise I would do exactly what you did.
    BooBear666

    Answer by BooBear666 at 10:04 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Oh well. She can deal with it. I ask the same thing of my kids. If they are going over to a friend's house I need to know addresses, phone numbers and talk to parents. It's a safety issue. If they don't like it, they don't go.
    officerjoeys

    Answer by officerjoeys at 10:21 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I was the same way with my DS. If I didn't know the parents, I at least had to have a phone conversation with them before he went. I also required telephone numbers and addresses in case of emergencies. Stick to your guns. It is for her own good.
    Moogie1005

    Answer by Moogie1005 at 10:46 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • You are right on track. And I am betting the only reason she got mad is because the parents weren't going to be there. Stick to your guns.

    I allow my kids to host parties for thier sports teams all the time. And about 10% of the parents choose to come to the door and introduce themselves and just touch base. I think it's great. Their kids don't mind and they are not teased. I think it's not only smart of the parents but also good manners.

    Don't waiver. She'll get over it. You are in the right. It's called parenting. And yep, our kids don't always agree with our parenting. I tend to think that means we are doing a good job.
    Julie411me

    Answer by Julie411me at 10:46 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • My mom ALWAYS required me to have her meet the parent(s) before I went over to ANYONE'S house (she almost always drove me too) and made me call when I got there/when i left/before I went anywhere else etc. I NEVER said she couldn't meet the parents, and if I did she wouldnt' have let me go that simple.
    Aniyunwiya

    Answer by Aniyunwiya at 11:04 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • my children are not allowed to go over to a friends house unless i have the parents name and phone numbers where i can reach them, and untill after i have talked to the parents face to face at least once prior to going over to the friends house
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 11:23 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • i wasn't allowed to go over to anyone's house until my mom met the parents (or their mom, at least). At the time, I didnt' realize how wonderful that was! I will be doing that with my kids and I think you're totally on the right track with her! Esp at 14 and visiting a boy...that's iffy and her reaction makes it even more suspect! Good for you, mom!
    beadingmom17

    Answer by beadingmom17 at 11:43 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • You have every right to talk to the parents. My mom never really bothered because she trusted me and I was a good kid. Plus, the only guy's house I ever went over to was my best guy friend and he lived around the corner. And My mom loves him. She would've loved it had we dated. haha.

    But as a parent, you have the right to and you should. You just never know.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 12:25 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

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