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So, I am an adoptive mom and I was contacted by an expectant mother this weekend, saying that she wants to meet me and my husband. So, I tell my best friend about this exciting news (she is also another adoptive mom). Well, she calls me today in tears and tells me she "thinks this is HER baby." WTF? She actually has another friend who she just found out also knows this girl we are talking to, and asked this other friend to give the expectant mom her profile and website address. Why would she go behind my back and do that to me? I don't HAVE to HAVE a baby, but I feel like the rug was pulled out from beneath me by a friend. It is not so much about the baby that I am angry, but that a friend would do that to me. I feel like I have been bitten by a shark!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Sep. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You need to keep that friend at a distance from now on. And never share any private details again. It's so sad some people will act as if they can be trusted only to turn on you when you least expect it. I hope you do get a baby eventually.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 1:03 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • sounds like you need new friends! sorry to hear about someone going behind your back like that.

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 10:53 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Are you going through an open adoption agency?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I am sorry you feel that way. I hope you figure a way to find a positive channel to those feelings which seem very valid based in what you posted.

    Answer by bebita at 10:54 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • Take it as another lesson learned and do not trust any so called friends with important things in your life.Sorry, and good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • This is not through an agency, it would be a private adoption. I had my info on a website and it was just dumb luck that my "friend" knew someone that knows this expectant mom. I do need to channel my energy into something positive- I am one of those people who generally see the world through rose colored glasses and am floored when someone takes advantage of me. Stupid me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • i would love to offer some advice but I do not understand what you have written. Are you saying that your best friend thinks she is your childs bio mother or that the person who called you is her daughter or what? I am so confused!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 11:06 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I'm an adoptive mom too. If you spoke with the expectant mom, and she wants to meet you and your husband, then I wouldn't worry too terribly much. Yes, I would not be happy if my friend did that and you have a right to be upset. BUT this mother is possibly choosing what family best fits for her and her baby. If it is you then its you. And if your friend does something underhanded, then you know that is not a true friend. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • i would love to offer some advice but I do not understand what you have written

    We are both adoptive moms and now my "friend" has made this a competition for a baby between the 2 of us. I never wanted this.

    Thank you anon :07. You are right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Sep. 3, 2009

  • I'm sorry. I think Anon at :07 is right if it's you she chooses, good. I think it's really lame of your pal though. Not a good thing to do.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:32 PM on Sep. 3, 2009