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Hi all i have a problem with my older son hes all of 3 1/2 yrs old he just dosnt obey me at all and dosnt listen to me at all but he's a sweet boy to his dad listens and does what ever he says pls help what should i do for him to listen to me?

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Asked by Shalu07 at 6:01 AM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • I have this same problem with my 2 1/2 yo, he will listen to everyone but me, strangers even. I'm sorry I dont have a solution, other than reinforce time outs and punishments, dont let him get away with anything. If you get better advice, let me know

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:31 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I am not sure if you are already doing this, I think you need to be firm and follow through. For example: If you ask him to do something and he says know tell him "I'm going to ask you again and if you don't do it then you are going in time out" If he doesn't do it then put him in time out and have a timer. Let him know when it buzzes he can get out. If he gets up put him back and restart the timer.

    It is really important to not make ideal threats and to stand your ground. It sounds like he is pushing the limits and seeing what he can get away with. You just have to remind him that you are the parent and in control.

    The other thing I found was that I stopped yelling. If I yelled my kids tuned me out, so now I talk quietly and they know, mom is mad. Lastly, if he is always in trouble then try positive reinforcement. Reward him for doing good instead of punishing him for doing bad. worked great in my house.

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:12 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Daddys have a way of instilling the fear of God in a child without even realizing that they are doing it - Cornflakegirl has some great ideas. And I think she's spot-on about speaking calmly but firmly and following through. Clear and precise communication surely will never hurt. All else fails - slap a stamp on his forehead and mail him to the north pole - LOL j/k But don't you ever wish there was a magical place you could mail them to to have 'em repaired when they're acting bad.....

    Answer by PaceMyself at 7:48 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I think it's just that age. I have 3 that will be 3 in November and daddy is their favorite. Whatever daddy says goes. They give me so much crap about everything. If I say it's bathtime they squirm and get ansy with me until I look at my husband with my help face. He says boys its bath time....ok daddy and off to the tub. It aggravates me so much when they don't listen to me and daddy intervenes. I'm a very calm person and never yell but I think my husbands deep voice gets them every time. There's been many days if I had duct tape in the house I would have duct taped them to the walls.

    Pacemyself_All else fails - slap a stamp on his forehead and mail him to the north pole - LOL j/k But don't you ever wish there was a magical place you could mail them to to have 'em repaired when they're acting bad.....

    Haha yeah, Oh, I could only wish.

    Answer by momtotrips at 11:12 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • what does dad do that you dont??? is it just that he misses him because dh works.... try to watch dh and see what he does, how he does it, and imitate it.


    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:52 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • and it is NEVER too soon to use Santa is Watching/ we remind my son all year long... it usually works/ but he is very imaginative.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:54 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Get on his level when you are correcting helps. (that is what I have in addition to cornflakes advice)

    Good luck.

    Answer by ProudSingleMum at 1:57 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I see many good suggestions. Mainly you need to stay consistent and follow through. Time out is alright to use sometimes, but if putting him in time out, allows him to escape doing what you want, then he may begin refusing more often to escape and avoid the task you have asked him to compete. This being said, When your son refuses to do what you ask him the first time, say to him, "......., you need to ........... You can do it by yourself or I will help you" Then give him a few seconds and if he does not do what you asked then say, "Ok,........, I will help you." You then take him by the hand and gently and calmly physically help him to do what you asked. If it is cleaning up toys, then you take his hand and "help" him pick up the toy and place it on the shelf. He probably will not like the fact that you are "helping" him to be compliant, so he will probably want to do it himself when you ask in the future.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 8:51 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

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