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Is there anything else we should be doing to help get the court order for custody modified?

I posted a few days ago about my son, who is technically my stepson. I believe it was "Feeling guilty, what would you have done?" in General Parenting if you want to check that out. However, my stepson's mother is a real piece of work. She left when he was one, didn't come back until he was two, then only saw him for 2 hours every 2-3 weeks until he was 3.5. At that point, a court order was reached that she would get two overnight visits a week with him. Things hadn't been going well ever, so we have regular family meetings with her and her boyfriend. He feels like she doesn't think about him when they aren't together, he doesn't think she loves him, they never spend time just the two of them she always has someone else around and he thinks it is because she doesn't want to spend time with him. There are a slew of reasons. Now, his school work on her nights aren't getting done and he is causing problems on days is supposed to

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Sep. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
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    visit her. He makes her physically come up to the playground to pick him up from school, but he will run to me fast as he can after school. Last night, he asked me to hold him while he cried himself to sleep because she promised she would call and say goodnight, and she never did. She promises 5 nights a week, but only follows through about 2-3. I wrote a letter to the teacher explaining what was happening and asking if she could evaluate his behavior, which particular attention to the days he goes to see her and she drops him off at school. We are documenting all the things he says, and all the times she fails to call or visit after she promised too. Is there anything else we should be doing? Thanks ladies

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Sounds like you're doing everything I would do. I can't think of anything else I would do differently, or in addition. I think it's great that you included the teacher, b/c that is definitely something that will help you. I wish things were better. Poor boy. I'm sorry she's putting him through this.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:46 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • counseling for him & him/her is a start. unless the boyfriend is abusive you can't make him go away.
    tell the child to write a letter to mom in his own words about how he feels & give the letter to mom.
    allow him to call her don't wait for her to call

    Answer by maiahlynn at 11:48 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • OP here

    We don't want the boyfriend to go away. We include him in family meetings because he is the closest thing to a stepdad my son will ever have. He has written his mother and sat down and talked to her multiple times. She always does really well for about a week, then she goes right back to her hurtful ways. He does call, and leave messages on her answering machine. She always claims that she didn't hear the phone ring, but then never calls back. We are lucky if we get a call back from a message left from us even if it is important within two days.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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