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I'm so torn, I don't know what to do! (need advice, long post)

Here is a little background on me & my life. I am 20 years old. I have 2 daughters, a 2 year old and a 9 week old baby. My DH & I have been together for 5 years, married for a year and a half. We are contemplating divorce because we fight so much. We have tried & tried to change our ways, and we just can't handle living together. He loves his girls alot, and it breaks my heart, because I love him too. Well, this is my problem, I posted on here a while ago about periods after having a baby, well I just went to the doctor to get an UDI inserted & found out I was pregnant, about 4 weeks along. I am in school and work part time. I can't handle another child on my own. My youngest wont even be 1 when I have this new baby. I can't do this right now, I didn't want any more kids, I especially can't do it on my own, that's for sure. I am totally against abortion & don't think I could go through a whole pregnancy and give my child ..

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Asked by Ari0825 at 11:15 AM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (6)
  • I am a mom of 2 (my son will be 5 next month and my daughter is 2 1/2) and I am pregnant and giving my child up for adoption at birth. I went in to terminate and couldnt morally go through with it but I knew that I could not raise another child so I chose to give it the type of life that it deserves.

    I am assuming you just found out that you are pregnant...give the shock some time to set in and maybe you will look at things differently and realize that you can raise another baby. If not, respond to this and ask me to PM you and I will:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Oh honey, I really feel for you. Have you guys tried therapy? If you both still love each other then I would try anything. I don't believe in divorce unless my dh started beating me or cheated. Maybe there is someone at church you can speak to (I'm not sure if you attend one). If you don't want to give up the baby for adoption I would really try to work it out. If you can't work it out and you can't do it alone maybe you should consider a open adoption where you can still have contact with the baby. Good luck. I hope I helped.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • get help from a 3rd party to try and work it out.. its not about u and ur husband any more its about the kids. and y the hell should u do it on ur own hes the dad he should help out regardless if ur together or not.. u 2 just need help with ur relationship and how to work out ur differences.. my advice u two need to grow up for the 3 kids! Talk about ur problems.. choose ur battles. if something annoys u and u know its not goin to hurt to ignore it then ignore it.. if its something u feel he is truly wrong about walk away till u both calm down then talk about it.. durning the day when u have the kids around ignore it all and talk about it when the kids nap or are sleeping.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I don't think I can do it, I have a perfect balance right now. I go to school, I go to work and I take care of my 2 girls. Its enough to handle without adding another child to the equation of it all. I don't want to live on personal assistance for the rest of my life either. I am graduating in april from school. I would have this baby in May... i just dont know what to do..

    Answer by Ari0825 at 11:21 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • It's not that easy with him, he always picks the fights, he is hot tempered, and if he left I would have to do it on my own, and it sucks. He is mexican and he said if he leaves for good, he's going back to mexico. I have told him I want to attend couples counseling he wont do it he doesnt think he has to, my kids is all that matter in this whole situation, yes, but he doesn't get that.

    Answer by Ari0825 at 11:24 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • If he won't go to counseling, go for and by yourself. You will find only the best in yourself. You can do anything that you need to do. It will help you find your inner strength. Yes, it will be hard if you separate, but you will be able to handle it better than you think you will. And if he leaves and doesn't support his kids, then he really isn't such a good father after all.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 11:44 AM on Sep. 4, 2009

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