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what to do about a husband that dont want me having my own bank acct?

hes had just his name on the accnt and one card for the last ccpl years cause i couldn't open one or get put on his due to my ex ruining my credit. well I was told I can now open one at a credit union and hes makn a big deal about it. He says "I dont like the seperatness of it" OMG hes had access to HIS and I have to always ask for the debit card just so I can get $. I am going to school and want to open a savings so I can save the extra $ that im gettn from grants/loans. Im very frustrated and im going to open one anyway with or without his approval

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worried546

Asked by worried546 at 12:00 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • You should open it! If he's had one for years without you being on there.. Then your entitled to your own! He's your husband.. Not your father and you should be able to do anything within reason.. and definately shouldn't ask his permission!
    PeytonsMom21109

    Answer by PeytonsMom21109 at 12:02 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Do it. I think it's unreasonable of him to ask/tell you not to. However, I would sit him down and talk to him about WHY you want to have your own account. Maybe he's worried you're ferretting money away to leave him or something? He probably has what he thinks of as a good reason for not wanting you to, you just have to find out what it is.
    mummy22kids

    Answer by mummy22kids at 12:04 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Sounds like he is a control freak to me! n/o My SO and i have a joint account, why not talk to him about doing that. Maybe that would calm him down if he would see what you were spending/buying. Your a grown woman, you have the right to have access to your money!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • its ur money and u need to earn the credit i say yes if he gives u too much grief , spin it. tell him if u get good credit it will make him or u both look better and more responsable. if u dont want the comfortation dont tell him. u have the right but dont give him a card and be careful where u leave urs.
    16thmoon

    Answer by 16thmoon at 12:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Do it!!! It is your money. Although you are married and may share things. That is yours and you are entitled to it. My DH and I do not put our money together. It keeps us from feuding over financial stuff. We get the mortgage, bills, gas, etc. paid by splitting it in half. Simple as that. Then if I have money or he has money left over we add some to a joint savings and the rest is ours to spend. SIMPLE.... And my DH in no way shape or form would be telling me what I can and can not have. Don't let someone control you. This is your life to and al you are doing is enjoying a journey with him.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 12:13 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Save that money! I don't care what he says, he isn't your boss he's your husband. You are equals. If he gets upset about it, that's his problem. Sounds to me like he's a little overbearing and it's good that you are going to school, you will have something to fall back on in the event he continues to be bossy and a control freak and you need to leave him.

    No matter what he says, do not allow yourself to be manipulated to give him that money so HE can spend it and dictate to you how much of YOUR money you get, especially since you will be the one responsible to pay that loan back.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 12:16 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • yes, open one. My ex wouldn't let me get an account, or have access to his either. You notice I said "ex"
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:00 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Why does your husband want to control you that way? And why do you let him? If my husband tried to tell me I 'couldn't' open my own account, I'd laugh so hard I'd probably pee my pants.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 1:11 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • IS he your dad? why are you asking permisson? this sounds very controlling to me...I don't see anything wrong with what your doing. You can go to him tonight and say....okay i will compromise with you....lets have a joint account...put me on your account and I will get my own card OR i will open a separate acct. then he gets to choose....either way you will get your own card, and your name on the acct. and then i would look at your relationship and see why your husband thinks he gets to tell you what to do...you are partners in life...you should make decesions together...he doesn't get to tell you what to do.
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 1:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • i assume that you are an adult, so open an account
    you do not need a permission slip from any man
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 1:29 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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