Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

just wondering

My father-in-laws wedding is tomorrow. My sd and her sisters are suppose to be flower girls. He actually bought all their dresses. Now the biomom wont let my sd attend the wedding cause its not my dhs custody time. Every time something the whole family is suppose to do together not on our weekend shes not allowed. My sd gets upset when she sees pictures or hears about things we did. Her mother wont let her be apart of our family. I was just wondering if anyone else sees this as unfair to my sd and her mother just being selfish?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • That is very unfair. I could see her acting like that if you were making excuses all the time to get extra time with her but a wedding is a big deal. Could you offer to switch off weekends if she's that concerned about missing a day?

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 12:13 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • We have tried to offer to switch. Also, she has not given my dh his daugher so she owes him make up time. We had to threaten her with contempt of court proceedings in order for her to give him his court ordered custody time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I hope this post didnt offend any biomoms. I just think this is wrong to do to your child

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • She sounds like a royal biatch....and should be slapped. But since you can't slap her, tell her that it's her daughter that will be suffering because of her ignorance, and in the long run her daughter WILL resent her for the things she has done to keep her from the things you and her father do together. I went through something similar, and when my stepdaughter turned 13 she flat out told her mom that she wasn't coming over anymore because of the way she was being treated, and the biomom didn't try to make her come over.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • This is something your husband has to petition to the courts about. If you know there are certain family events, then try to talk to a judge about being sure to get your SD, during those times. Otherwise, there is nothing you can legally do to stop her from pulling your SD from the event. I wish you the best of luck and hope you talk to a judge about this, so she can still attend.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:03 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I assume that bio-mom knew about the wedding ahead of time and knew that sd was asked to be in it? If so it is very petty of her to wait till the last minute and then say "sorry, she is not going to be in it". It might be a good idea to have your hubby tell bio-mom that if sd is not in the wedding as planned- he will be calling his lawyer and taking her back to court for custody/visitation violations.
    I hope she relents and sd is in the wedding, and all works out!!

    Answer by MizLee at 2:05 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Honestly I go through the same thing with my stepchildren. You honestly have to document things and actually follow through with contempt. Threatening people doesn't do anything. Your DH needs to take her to court, because actually in my state if there is a wedding, funeral, or church function the parent is aloud to have that parenting time when it is immediate family involved. We document everytime my dh doesn't get his kids. We actually are in the process of getting our hearing for contempt. It is free also when you go down to the courts you don't need an attorney for contempt. Follow through with your threats and good luck to you. Honestly I used to do that to my DD father until they contempted me and the judge told me if I took any time away from him again she would have me put in jail for 6 months. Now I will let him see her becuase I am not going to jail so he can get her..... Hope it helps.

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 2:13 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • thanks everyone

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.