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He wants me to get an abortion.

I was on the pill. Had sex a week and a half before I was supposed to ovulate. We are not together. I already have another child under 1. I am broke. I can barely afford daycare and formula for my little one. I dont even like the idea of getting an abortion. I know he has a point that we cannot afford it. And trust me we really cant. But I am just so confused right now.

Please dont reply if your simply going to say its against god because I am aware I need practical advice.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (20)
  • ever hear of adoption.. dont kill a baby just bc u cant afford it.. u made the baby u should do whats right for it.. u can pick a family u feel is right for the child. sometimes u can choose to be in the childs life as it grows and get pics and things or u can just give the baby away and choose not to be there. there are a lot of familys that would love a new baby. It will be hard but like u said u cant afford the baby.. u will be making the baby have a good life and a chance at livin and a family happy to finally get a child they wanted
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Well take a look at you situation and then make a choice! It's your body and you HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE what is best for you because all the replies you might get from some of the moms on here that are against it are not the ones that have to live with your decision. So at the end of the day it's what you want to do. I wish you the best of Luck!
    neveragain17

    Answer by neveragain17 at 1:11 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • No one can tell you what to do and as harsh as it is, what he wants is irreleant because you are the one who has to make the decision and deal with whatever comes with that decision.

    You can breastfeed the second and wouldn't have the added financial burden of formula. Since you are an established parent, you won't have those "start up" costs. You could switch to flat cloth diapers and covers and greatly reduce your financial burden of disposables. You can look into finding another daycare, or even look into networking with another mother you trust in your area who is SAHM and who might be interested in making a little extra money by babysitting.

    You've got options. You just need to decide your plan of action and what you really want. There is no easy choice but I really think you know what you want to do.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 1:12 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • All I can tell you is that you will always be the one that has to live with that choice not him, you will be the one in the situation, and there is alway gov help and adoption, if you want to keep it, it will all work out.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 1:13 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • And, don't listen to people trying to guilt trip you either. You are under NO obligation to have a baby just because someone else can't or beacause someone else wants one.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 1:14 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • amileegirl~ I agree w/ you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • in the end the choice will be entirely up to you...i was in a similar situation with my first child...i was twenty, just got my first apt...and found out i was pregnant...my husband (or bf at the time) was only 17. He was okay with me having a baby...his father (who is a deputy sherrif) was okay with this...scared for us...but told us it was our choice...but it was my mother who was the one to flip out....DEMANDED i have an abortion...i was in a fog and didnt know what to do...my mother took advantage of that and even set up the abortion appt for me without me knowing!!!! i was going to go through with it...but i was upset...it took my sister saying to me "this isnt you" to defy my mother...and i chose to keep my daughter...and im so glad i did...now the end choice is STILL yours...and you have three options, abortion, adoption, keeping the baby
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 1:21 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • you can be like these PERFECT moms: breastfeed,cloth diapers,make ur own baby food.

    or be like normal people: and deal w/ it! its ur body u make the choice!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • amileegirl said it all.

    I had my second at that time frame, too. We were together, though, and it was planned.
    But we lived at half (!) the poverty level, no help... I don't know how we made it, but we did.

    (I was the apartment mngr so free rent and low utilities helped a lot. I also nannied so I could work under the table and do my laundry there~ huge $ savings.)

    I guess my point is~ there will be a way to make things work, whichever route you choose.
    Come back here for help anytime. Good luck, hun!
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 1:25 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I don't know if you are already on it, but I know that some WIC programs offer more items to women who are bf'ing. I couldn't afford my little one if I wasn't on it. Also, if you decide to get an abortion, it is your choice, not the baby's daddy. Don't get one just because everyone else says you should and because you can't afford it, blah blah blah, get it (or don't) because it's the right choice. Just know that you'll have to live with the decision for the rest of your life regardless of which one you choose. Maybe talk to some people who have had an abortion before making the decision. Also, if you're not already on it, apply for government assistance. I know that some people are against it, but the government really can help especailly if you don't have the means right now to take care of another child. (All of my pregnancy related health care was paid for and my child has health insurance until she is a year old.)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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