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I need advise about talking to my Step mom.

My father married my step mom when I was 9. My brother lives with her and he has a felony charge against him for a DUI (possibly 2). My father past away in April and he had no will. How do I talk to her about making out a will and not passing down my fathers firearms to him. They have been in our family for at least 3 generations and I don't want anything to happen to them. Also, she is not willing to part with anything that was my Dads. I mean she wont even give me picture album from before they were married. What do you think are the proper things to say? If I piss her off I know I wont get anything. She also has things that were my biological mothers who past when I was a baby. I need some serious advise.

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Asked by busymom1107 at 1:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • I dont think that you should try to take anything yet, think about it, she has been with your dad for a long time before he passed and his stuff is her stuff and vice versa....but if you get an opportunity just mention to your step mom that it's important for her to get her affairs in order and set up a "living trust" not a "will" because a "will" will go into probabte... and a living trust will not, and mentioned to her that you would love to keep some of the albums, and some things that were your mothers, and mention to her that you would love to keep your dads fire arms, I guess i would make a list of things you would love to be able to keep(it wouldn't be fair if you got everything) and i don't know if she had kids of her own...but i would somehow encourage her to set up a trust, and see if she is willing to leave you the things you feel most sentimental towards, and explain 2 her why these items are so important to u. GL

    Answer by abbyg at 1:20 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the first answer. Give her some time to greeve which I know you need to as well. And just bring it up, don't get uproared about anything. Especially your mothers things are yours not hers, but try not to be mean about it. i am sure in time she will give up things. You will find a way to do this and I wish you luck on it.

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 2:09 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Check with your state laws.. but because he has a DUI, he may not legally be able to have the firearms anyways. I would try for a gun permit (pending again, on our state), so you have legal documentation that you can legally own the guns. As for the rest of it, the best thing to do, would be to talk to you mom about what is important to you and why. Ex. "That china cabinet sure brings back a lot of great memories (fill in one of those memories here), I would sure like to have it one day to talk to my child about. " Explaining things to someone like this, your expression your emotions for the objects in question, while also explaining how you would like to keep it in the family, without trying to say, "when you die, I want that", which could come off as rude and cold.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:10 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Thanks everyone

    Answer by busymom1107 at 2:20 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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