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Why do I feel like I don't like my own kid most of the time????

I dont think this can be normal. I have a daughter in the 4th grade, her dad has never been in her life, & i've been trying to do the best at raising her as I know how to do. I had her young at 16 yrs old & I just feel like giving up most of the time. She's constantly getting on my nerves with her bad attitudes, not listening to me or her teachers, she talks in class & gets in trouble, I have to tell her repeatedly to do something & the list goes on! Sometimes I feel like I don't even want her anymore. I wish I could give her to her dad or somebody but unfortunately, he's no where around. That sounds terrible, i know but I dont feel im doing a good job w/her & what if it just gets worse from here on out?? The last thing i need or want is an out of control teen!! Someobdy help me please im desperate for answers & i hate myself for feeling like i hate my own kid

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think you're just overwhelemed from being a single mom. Is there a family member or close friend you trust that would be willing to take her for a weekend and let you get some "you" time?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • My mom doesn't like us most of the time. But she loves us all of the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like she has some discipline issues. Has she always been like this? How have you handled discipline throughout her life?

    Frankly, if you tell your child to do something once and she doesn't do it, you need to address the situation right then and there. You need some actions and consequences for her to understand.

    Have you tried a reward chart?

    I don't know what life is like in your home, but often times, these problems are the parent's own doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Take her to a state funded counsilor or therapist to find out whats bugging her. Are you spending enough time with her? Please dont get offended...just a question. Talk to her and bluntly ask her what is bothering her. Ask her what you do that bothers her. And if names things write them down in front of her. And then tell her what she does that bothers you and write them down. Talk to each other about these issues. Whatever you do don't act offended of what she says to you. If you do that will make her not want to talk to you. Good luck. Regarding school and talking in class. Talk to her teacher without her knowing and tell the teacher to sit her away from everyone.
    busymom1107

    Answer by busymom1107 at 2:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Plus she probably knows her dad gave up on her and what do you think it would do to her if you did too?
    busymom1107

    Answer by busymom1107 at 2:08 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • maybe you have some resentment towards her. Children who arent loved properly, don't know how to love properly. What was YOUR childhood like? Do you think you were loved properly? Maybe you don't know HOW to love her. Children who don't get any affection, & no attention are usually the ones who act out.

    Maybe you should do something to improve yoru relationship w/ her, like going to family counceling. Your child needs love & attention, i would not be surprised if she is lacking it. Children who are not loved right, do not behave & have trouble w/ people in general.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:09 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Just because she's your kid doesn't mean you have to like her all the time. Just the way you talk about her anyobody can tell that you love her. Just the fact that you are concerned shows yyou love her so please don't feel bad you sound like a good mom, but you also sound like a stressed out mom who needs a little help. She could just be acting out because something is bothering her and she doesn't know how to deal... she might not even know what that thing is either. Maybe you could try talking to her more, maybe set aside a special day where you two do something fun like your nails, or lunch or the fair something. I know that might be hard for a single mom to do but it might help. Counseling might work too for you both. My mom and I saw a therapist separately every week, it might help her understand and vocalize her feelings instead of acting up.
    KayLundy3

    Answer by KayLundy3 at 2:20 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • OP

    Samuria chica.... I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I had very strained childhood. I've always known this is one of the major reasons for feeling this way about my daughter. When I was 3, my mother killed herself, so my father was left to raise me & my twin brother by himself. It was hard on all of us & my father rarely ever spent any time with me.. it seemed as though all of his attention went to my brother. The only times I can ever remember him even acknowledging me is when he was yelling/screaming at me about something I did wrong. Yes, very dysfuntional. I also think that's why I became pregnant at such a young age, bc i was looking for love. Any love. I really do not want to pass this on to my daughter, i just feel so extremely angry & resentful towards her & its been this way for awhile....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • hello man i fill u cause i have 3 kids and i had my son @ 15 and he is in the 4th grade but he is the same way and i fill the same way sometimes but i have help me and huis dad r married and we do the best we can but he do the same thing we have tired every thing dnt no myself i wish u luck and will keep u in my prayers
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • You know, your daughter is probably picking up your feelings about her and acting out. No Father in her life and the only parent she does have doesn't like her, a child is going to pick up on that and react. You had your child when you were young and therefore you missed out on your childhood, while the sperm donor got to go on with his life like nothing happened. You need an "out". You need somewhere to go or something to do to blow off steam. Talk to somebody, karate, get a squishy ball and throw it against the wall, just do something to release and you will feel better.
    These are my opinions based on the information that I have about your situation.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 5:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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