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my son will soon be asking questions, HELP?

My son has never met his father, doesnt even realize he has one.He has started kindergarten this year and has since decided that something is off.He has asked a few questions but i try to brush it off in hopes he will 4 get.I am not sure what i am going to say to him. I do not want him to feel like he is a odd ball???? help me!!!!!

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itainteasy25

Asked by itainteasy25 at 3:07 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • BE BLUNT its the best thing even if he doesnt understand.. tell him u will keep explaining it and when hes old he will understand
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • HONEST, BE HONEST AND BRING IT DOWN TO HIS LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:12 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Just tell him that some families have both a mommy and a daddy, some only have a daddy, and some only have a mommy. You are a family that only has a mommy. Don't talk bad about his father, just try to tell him that his father can't be a part of your family because of _________ .


    Does the father know he has a son? Was the father around at all when your son was an infant? Are you in contact with the father? If you are, and he knows he has a son, you might want to let him know that his child is starting to become curious as to his whereabouts, and see if he is ready to start a relationship with his child now.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:12 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • A relationship with his father at this point is a big NO. he was around for a lil while but moved out of state and havent seen or heard from him in 5 yrs. He is a very irresponsible person and i would not trust him with my child at all......
    itainteasy25

    Answer by itainteasy25 at 3:19 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • School does suck in that department. My dd never cared much about spending time with her father 16 hours a month, until she got into school and the other kids had dads who showed up to field trips and were really involved with their kids. Plus I then had the problem of why aren't you and my daddy together. Everybody else has a daddy and a mommy at home. She now after 4 years spends one night every other week with her father. But I learned to be completely honest with them. Becuase otherwise you are going to get the blame for everything> her counselor told me when she was 5 that she was old enough to know the truth and leave it at that. To answer honestly anything she asks about it. I know mine is different because my dd knows her father, but she still knows the truth that he doesn't want her more than he gets her. And now he has stopped his weekends. So she now has to hear the truth that he doesn't want her on the wkens.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 3:22 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Be honest but age appropriate. Don't say anything negative about his father. Speak openly and honestly about anything that he asks you. But like i said before make it age appropriate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I agree that you should be honest and not be negative about his father. If you have a picture to show him that would be great. If he ask why his daddy's not around be honest. "he wasn't ready to be a daddy but you are so lucky that you have a mommy and (insert family members here) that love you so much!" You can elaborate when he gets older.
    I think the reason people say not to talk neg. about the father is that the child no matter what feels that his daddy is great and you talking bad about him makes you the bad guy not him. When the child is old enough he will be able to figure out on his own what kid of 'father' his father really was.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:27 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I like that way of explaining some families have a mommy and daddy some just a mommy and some just a daddy...
    Maybe he has an uncle or maybe a close family male friend who he can bond with ?

    I know our schools here have programs for kids who's parents are split up, which might help him understand better about different families. We also have big brother programs where they get a male role model for children to bond with... if and when the time comes he would need one?

    I'm sure there are allot more kids than you realize who are in a similar situation... I wouldn't worry to much.... just answer his questions honestly in a way he can understand so he'll be able to answer questions his new friends are asking. I know by experience that whatever you say he will repeat to others so keep it very positive!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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