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He's not ready to be a father, but he's ready to meet my son?

I just posted a question about how the "boyfriend" said something sweet about wanting to meet my son..not a problem. But then I got to thinking about something...he's not ready to be a father..he's said so himself. He won't even be ready to remarry until he's got a year of teaching under his belt (this is his first year). So if he's not ready to be a dad, why does he want to meet my son? Is it because he wants to get to know him and then be ready to be a father. I guess I'm just nervous about them meeting because Blake's starting to remember who people are and I dont' want him to get attached to someone and then have it not work out. Ugh...I'm so paranoid.

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SaraP1989

Asked by SaraP1989 at 3:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 14 (1,621 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't bring anyone into your son's life until you're ready. If you're that unnerved about it I would hold off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • just because someone's not ready to be a parent doesn't mean they don't like kids. just tell your son that this guy is a friend and limit the amount of time they spend together until you are sure he is gonna stick around awhile.
    MaMaLaLa369

    Answer by MaMaLaLa369 at 3:32 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I'm ready..I really am. It's just there's only been one guy other than family in my son's life and he really is like a father to him (he's my best friend). And since I moved Blake doesn't see him anymore. I'm just worried about me and him not working out and Blake getting attached.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 3:33 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • dont you have 2 kids or am i thinking about someone else?
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 3:33 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • You need to talk about this to your "boyfriend". He can be involved in your son's life and not be a father. He can be a friend, like an uncle figure. Just keep the PDA to a minimum or none at all while your son is around. He doesn't have to take on the role of a father. And maybe, being with you and your son, he'll learn how to deal with children and realize he's ready (probably not right away though).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • Nope, I only have one baby-he's almost two.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 3:34 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • oh sorry, i must have been thinking about some one else :]
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 3:36 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I honestly wouldnt be worried too much about if he is ready, or if you are. (Not meaning that in a rude way) You should worry about if your son is ready to meet him. Your right, if it doesnt work out it will affect your son. I think you and your boyfriend should talk about it for a while longer, and you talk to your son about it. And maybe start off with him saying hi on the phone and slowly work to meeting.
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 3:41 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I can't exactly talk to my son about it..he's two..I mean I tell him about him and if we're hanging out or something but it's not like he can directly express his feelings toward him.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 3:44 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I think it depends on how long you and your boyfriend have been dating. I did not meet my husbands children until we dated for 3 months and at that time I had already made a commitment to him and we knew things would go far. If you are unsure if he will stick around then the answer is just move on. If you think the relationship is solid, then definately introduce him to your son, if he is a teacher I think they will get along great. It is a huge step and think it is great that you are worried. My husbands ex wife would bring over everyman she dated in front of his children ( i think that is bad parenting)
    redonerulz

    Answer by redonerulz at 3:54 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

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