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Choosing between being mom or working?

I don't know is this is wrong or not. I moved 2 hours away from my hometown and have been unemployed for the 9 months I got here so I've depleted my savings. I finally found a job that I can handle that pays amazing but it seriously cuts into my time with my daughter. I miss her incredibly when I don't have her. Her father and I alternate weeks we take care of her. He lives in my hometown 2 hours away. So I get one full week (sun-sun) Since I've started this job I work 930-7 5 days a week and shes at a babysitter from those times. It breaks my heart to leave her crying (the babysitter is amazing and she calms down eventually but still... ) & then I have to give her up for a week. Does this guilty feeling stick around? Should I search for a new job? I know this is common and want to hear other stories if you have them.. (by the way she is 16 months)


Asked by cassaundralii at 10:39 PM on Sep. 4, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • I can kind of understand how you feel. Before my job fired me for being pregnant with my youngest daughter, I worked at a job that paid amazingly.

    The only problem was half the time I was working 60-70 hour weeks, all which was mandatory overtime.. I feel like I missed alot of my daughter's firsts.

    Now, my new daughter is 2 weeks old, and I am already job hunting because my husband is lazy and doesn't want to work.. I hate that I won't be able to see them both grow up more, but I know its what I have to do.

    Like the PP said, stay strong! You have to work to take care of her, even if it means you don't get to see her as much, you have to be able to keep a roof over her head and food on the table when you do have her.

    Answer by Skye-Angel at 10:49 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I know how you feel. It is heart breaking. You have to look at it this way, your savings is gone and if you don't work this job right now, you can't afford to support your daughter. In this economy , it's not about feelings anymore it's about survival. You got to work everyday because you love your daughter and you know that money buys the things she needs. She will never resent you for busting your butt to keep a roof over her head and food in her tummy. Stay strong.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:42 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • If you really need the money, then do what you got to do to keep yourself cared for.

    Now if it comes down to choosing between your kid and working for wants instead of needs, then I would choose the kid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • You're doing what you have to do. I know it's not easy or fun to be away from her so much, but if you need the money, you need the money. We all have to do things we don't like sometimes, that's life. Just make sure that the times you have her are all that much more special.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • I have worked full time since my daughter was 3 months. It is hard leaving her everyday but I need to work. I just make sure that on my days off that I do something special

    Answer by amymartinez0214 at 11:01 PM on Sep. 4, 2009

  • You shouldn't feel guilty at all! You're going to work for necessity, it's not a hobby! Your daughter will understand and appreciate that when she will be older, you're doing this also to increase her life quality, the important is show her all your love when she's with you.

    Answer by shining8250 at 1:22 PM on Sep. 5, 2009