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Where on CafeMom can you vent about lazy husbands? Point me in the right direction.

I just really need somewhere to vent. If I talk to family, they may look or treat him different. Loss contact with girlfriends. So I have no one right now to talk to.

Let me explain one of the situations...He would rather drop me & the kids off at my mothers house & leave to go hang with the guys than stay for a few hours. But I'm suppose to suck it up & deal with his friends. I fell isolated there because of being in a different room with the kids. I can't leave the kids alone in their house, the kids are 9 & older. I can stay at home and play with the kids; atlease at home they have free roam to do what they want and I don't have to worry about them touching or breaking something. When he does stay and not just drop us off, it's like he's not there. He's no help. I take them potty, feed them, play with them outside, etc. I'm just so pissed and am in need of an outlet.
Please point me to somewhere I can "talk".

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Sep. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Ooops, I misread the question I almost said in front of a lawyer. That's where I did my venting. MY ex did the same thing. Always wanted me to go along to his family and his friends. When it came down to visiting with mine"take the kids". Not that I did not already watch them at home, at his families houses, at his friends.

    I have some other suggestions for you that don't involve a judge. I know it may be sacreligious to say this but have to told him what is going on? Also utter these words in front of his friends. If they are men and have any sense of self preservation they will leave to avoid bloodshed."Can we talk"

    In the mean time I would suggest this group http://www.cafemom.com/group/venting about ourmen

    Feel free to come and talk to me. I'm also on YAHOO chat(merceduslong@yahoo.com)
    Mercedus

    Answer by Mercedus at 9:29 AM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • YOUR IN THE RIGHT PLACE! VENT AWAY! SOUNDS YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A VERY SELFISH MAN, LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE, HIM! YOU NEED TO HAVE A LONG CONVERSATION WITH HIM AND EXPLAIN WHAT YOU HAVE HERE.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:16 AM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • also to add to previous post when you say "Can we talk" don't break down into tears and don't yell. Men have some kind of switch that turns to off the moment things become overemotional. Tell him how you feel about what is going on and ask him if he has suggestions as to how to fix it.

    My ex waited until after the paperwork to tell me he just didn't think of it. He didn't think how his behavior affected me.
    Mercedus

    Answer by Mercedus at 9:35 AM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Sit him down and talk to him about it. Communicate and ask him to communicate with you. Then, compromise. Come up with something you can both live with.

    THIS is why marriages are failing. People just don't talk to each other anymore.

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:12 AM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • My husband and I have a little agreement.. One day I'll take my daughter somewhere so he can do his thing (it's not all day though maybe 4 hours at most) and then he will take care of our daughter the next so I can have some me time. I feel it's important to give eachother me time because then you feel resentment if you have no time away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Thanks Mercedus, I'll check it out after putting the kids down for a nap.
    Excuse me, Cavalrybaby02 but I have tried talking to him on several occassions when it happens. But it goes in one ear, out the other. How many time do I have to make up & excuse for him not being there? But when I try & ditch his friends & send him with the kids alone, he's back in an hour, drops the kids off & goes back to the gathering.
    I just had minor surgery & he was suppose to be taking care of the kids. The kids in the room make a bunch of noise & he's watching tv. The day after surgery I was getting them ready for bed & he was out. But he did mention, I should take it easy.
    And YES Anonymous, I do feel resentment. I have no me time. My life is 24/7 the kids & he does what he wants. I must give him credit. He did come home before 11pm the other night to spend time with the family. Mind you the kids were already in bed, I put them there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Sep. 5, 2009