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Depressed.......Am I a bad mom?

First off PLEASE no bashing, I have become really depressed about this.....
Im a sahm & I have a ds thats 2.5 yrs old & a dd that is 9months old. My dh is wanting me to put our ds in a daycare a few times a week bc I have no time for myself. I personally dont mind that. But my dh works on a rig so hes gone every other week for 7 days, so Im home alone with the kids. I really dont want to put him in a day care bc we live out in the country about 45mins away from the nearest daycare & I never have anything to do in town. All of my family is very old & cant take him to watch him even for a little while. But my point is that as the years are passin by so fast he will soon be startin school in 2 yrs & I dont know if I will be able to handel it. & I have no friends with younger kids to talk to this about. He never stays anywhere over nite or even to play. I knw its my fault that hes stuck to my hip. I just feel like crying...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Sep. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • you need to get out more with the kids. do you have a car to go to the park or something?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Your not a bad mom...we all get depressed sometimes. It does sound like your son could use some socialization outside the house though...it might be a truck to the nearest daycare but think of all the time you'll have during the day when he's there. He'll also come home tired, so he'll sleep better and he'll come home with all sorts of new experiences that he wouldn't have gotten at home. If you start doing it now, when he does go to school, it won't be near as hard. Kids adapt quicker the younger they are when they learn to be separated from mommy. That separation anxiety thing goes both ways though...it might in fact be harder on you than it is on your son. =)
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 1:34 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Go to the park, maybe see if the town has a mother's day out for when you are shopping, go to the library
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • your not a bad mom but you are hiding behind your child. You were someone before you were a mom and just because your a mom doesnt mean that someone has to die take time to rediscover who YOU truly are get out with the kids t6ogether and do fun stuff and seek counseling if you need it. Being left alone with your kids for days can get to be rather depressing and I find when I have a moment to myself I often waste it trying to figure out what I can do LOL
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 3:09 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • I think 2.5 is way too young to go to daycare just to do it. So I don't think you're a bad mom at all. Young children are very time consuming so it's hard to find time for you. But taking the toddler still leaves you with an infant. You still wouldn't have time to yourself. If you're not ready or comfortable sending him so far, then it's not time. He still has time to adjust and when he does start school, they try to help the children adjust as well. So don't panic. You don't need to force socialization right now.Talk to your DS about being nice and making friends and how fun they are. Keep home time educational. I recently moved and had to leave my playgroup so I looked for kid businesses. Most indoor fun places have mornings set aside just for toddlers a few times a week and it's not much money.

    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 5:48 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Aww I can relate with you. Your not a bad mother. I am forced to stay at home (at my parents house mind you) with my son, bc I have no sitter to go work and I am in school...My friends all ditched me when I got pregnant. Alot of family like cousins my age didnt give a crap n didnt even come see my son when I had him (hes 5 months old) I feel lonely most of the time. I love my son n get alot of joy from him, but I feel sad alot. I think I am a great mother though. I had to get my life together though so I started college again and that has made everything alot better. I feel more productive. I knwo this is a diff. situation than yourself but my point is that I had to find something else to get me going. Its not enough to clean the house and take care of the kids. You do need to do something for yourself. Is it possible there is someone maybe in their late teens that could be a babysitter a few hours a few days a week???
    soveryconfused

    Answer by soveryconfused at 9:42 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • You could go to the spa or joint a gym (not sure if they have that in your town) and maybe meet some people. Is there an activity center you can bring the kids too? with swimming classes or something like that where other mothers would be? Could you take online classes or do you already have a career that is on hold? Maybe if you hav that to look forward to for when your kids are old enough for school then you would be able to enjoy being home with them more?
    soveryconfused

    Answer by soveryconfused at 9:44 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Well, if you want to give him some social needs, you should take him to a park or somewhere that has a lot of kids his age to play with. I make sure my kids get to go out and play with other kids b/c you don't want them to be stuck to your hip. So, to answer your question, you're NOT a bad mother. All moms go through this sometimes.
    QueenBee319

    Answer by QueenBee319 at 9:32 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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