Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

IMPORTANT! Do I want another one?

I'm 18, my husband is 22, and our son is 6 months old. I was put on birth control last month for the first time in my entire life, and first- it gave me bruises all over my body, dark purple and blue bruises, second- it didn't work! SO, when my husband's condom broke, we thought nothing of it.. until I didn't get my period. I went to my gyno for my 6 month check-up and he said I hadn't gotten my period because I stopped my birth control before I took an entire pack. Little did he know, he was wrong and I am actually pregnant.
My husband really wants to keep this baby, and I do too.. But I'm still so stuck on how disappointed everyone was when I got pregnant with my son, it hurt so bad that I don't think I can deal with that all over again.
That, and I'd like to finish nursing school before our next child is born, I could only have a year left if we keep this baby... But I just don't know.

Help ladies, please.


Answer Question

Asked by shessohippie at 11:09 PM on Sep. 5, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • first i dont want you to think im bashing, bc im not just telling you my opinion. i think that there is absolutely no reason not to keep a baby because its not convenient. a condom broke, and you know that that could make a baby. its just how life goes sometimes. im very sorry ppl around you were upsetting enough to make you think that you shouldnt have another child. but there remarks and comments shouldnt be the deciding factor in a baby's life. what you need to say to them is, we're married im pregnant either support me, or i dont want to hear your opinion. stand up for yourself. no one should make you feel so bad about having a child. so what the first wasnt planned (i'm assuming from your comment about it), thats the past so they all need to move on. would you give up ur son to change the past? you've got another life now to worry about and i think that you both need to take care of that responsibility. GL!!!

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 11:14 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • Thanks :)
    That actually made me feel really good. And no, the first one wasn't planned. My, now husband, and I weren't married then, so I think that's why everyone was so upset. That, and I was 17 at the time.
    My husband, Matt, keeps saying that it doesn't matter if our families don't approve. We're a happily married couple, with a family of our own now. But, I just can't get over how terrible they made me feel before. It's tough. I'm a very emotional person.

    Answer by shessohippie at 11:18 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about what others have to say. If you really want this baby, then they can deal with it. Straight up tell them that you don't want to hear their disapproval. And Kudos to you for being in school and wanting to finish!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • U are right; you have a family to take care of and love. If your parents don't approve they can get over it. You have your own primary family and don't feel bad about that.

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 11:24 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • I'm really surprised nobody has bashed me for being 18, and considering having a 2nd child. Yeah, I'm young but my husband is a firefighter, getting 53 grand a year, I work in retail, and starting nursing school in 2 months. We're only paying $450 a month for rent including utilities (we're renting from family.) We live perfectly fine, with money to spare on just my husbands salary. My income has been going to paying off hubby's credit card debt of $3,000.00 from before we were married.
    I don't know what to do. We've known for a few days now that I'm pregnant, and we just can't seem to come to a decision on what to do.

    Answer by shessohippie at 11:29 PM on Sep. 5, 2009

  • You should keep the baby and just keeping on like you're already doing....... Its ok that you are having another one now, and really, it doesnt matter what the whole family says, you are paying the bills and taking care of what needs to be taken care of in the grown up world of life. There really shouldnt be much of a decision to make. I was a junior in HS when I got pregnant for my son, I was a senior in HS when I got pregnant for my daughter, but guess what, even though I was young and people probably thought I'd get no where, I graduated with my class in the top 10%, it took me a little longer, but I put myself thru nursing school and graduated that by the time I was 23. It was rough for a few yrs, but its fine now, my kids are now 15, 13 and I also have a 9 y/o. You and hubby are way more stable than I was then, Im sure you will be more than fine, keep your head up little Momma, and just think, when you are about 38,

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 12:19 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • (cont) your youngest now will be 20 and you will still be young enough to be enjoying all your hard work now!! You will be fine, have the baby, finish school when you can, and enjoy it, its all for a reason :)

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 12:20 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • y bash? its life hun, and my biggest lesson learned is that once you realize its YOUR life, than its easier to deal with all of the mess trying to stop u. u and ur husband are making it work with your baby will make it work with the next doubt! make sure u guys still laugh & try to keep ur relationship helps!! im a little bit older, but i understand where u are coming from! as long as u are the best person for ur family...NOTHING else matters!!!!

    Answer by vanessaxoxo at 3:05 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • We're keeping the baby :D

    Answer by shessohippie at 11:50 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.