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Babysitting for bad parents, Should I speak up?

My sister in law just dropped off her two month old so she can go party in mexico. I walk to the car to get him and when I entered the house and put his car seat down I noticed it wasn't even buckled. I picked him up and her was crying so I changed him. As i took off his pants I could smell urine and his diaper was completely yellow. Not only that but he was starving. She constantly drops her son off at her mil and with us with a soaked diaper, hungry, and unbuckled thats if she even uses a car seat. Should I tell her something and risk not seeing the baby anymore or just ignore and take extra good care of him when he is here?

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jennielynnmwah

Asked by jennielynnmwah at 1:32 AM on Sep. 6, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (10)
  • tell her! at least maybe she will see it and maybe try to change! just say something like "Oh your a stinky boy" and feel his diaper or say "oh my gosh did you forget to buckle his car seat belt!? Be careful with that! He needs to be buckled in very well! you dont want something happening to him if you slam on the brakes!" just find a nice way of saying it and maybe she will notice more, if not and it keeps on, tell her straight up! GL!

    Alysia_Moore

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 1:36 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • First I am going to ask if you do daycare for others as well? If not you may be unaware that If you are a babysitter you are considered a manditory reporter which means if you suspect the child is not being taken care of or is abused or in danger (care seat) you must report it, as a care giver you can also be held responsible by ignoring and not reporting the actions of the parents.

    This is your call, I babysit have taken the classes but not licensed since i am stay under the limit i am allowed, but i am still subject to the same rules,laws and regulations as a licensed caregiver. The courts wont look at it as your family not an ourside caregiver the child is in your care that is all that matters.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • if she continues to drive her baby over to your house unbuckled why have you NOT CALLED CPS??

    thats bad on your part as well.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 1:40 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • i know about those kinds of moms, and quite frankly I despise them. sorry to be so rude, but it is low-class to let your kid go hungry and be drenched in urine. if you don't speak up, you are saying something about YOUR character, which I hope is much better than hers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Put it this way....if she got into an accident with him not buckled and he was seriously injured, would you be kicking yourself saying "why didnt I do something!?" If the answer is yes, then prevent that by doing something.
    You need to call CPS. Talking to her will not help anything. She knows the law and she knows that people need to eat and dont like to sit in their own pee. She doesnt care.
    This baby is only 2 months old!!!!!!! this is so sad.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 1:58 AM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Im sorry your put in this situation but you need to think of the child if she were to get in a reck and that baby die you would be a fault as well. I wouldnt care if it was my blood sister no one should do and I
    jml9203

    Answer by jml9203 at 12:36 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • It is a really tough situation to be in, but you need to speak up. Fortunately, he probably won't die from a wet diaper or a little hunger. But if she is not using the seat correctly, she is endangering him every time. Ask her about it, maybe she is overwhelmed. If she doesn't heed your advice, you need to report it.
    mellibelli917

    Answer by mellibelli917 at 12:46 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • It sounds like she doesn't even want to be a mom. Poor baby. Did/has she ever considered adoption? Or letting you or another family member take custody at least for now? I would probably try to talk to her about it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Hmm.. Have you asked if maybe she unbuckled the baby before she removed it from the car? Are you sure she's not buckling up at all -- if not, that's abusive and illegal.

    How wet is the diaper, is it falling off wet or just -really- wet? My son will have a totally dry diaper when I leave to go somewhere and then when I get there sometimes he's very messy/wet. A better indication of diaper changes is if the baby has a HORRIBLE meaty raw diaper rash.

    Being hungry is normal.. maybe he wouldn't take the bottle before she left and he decided he was hungry on the way?

    Are the baby's nails clean and clipped or REALLY dirty - that'll tell you if she's ever bathing the baby.

    I would find out these things, take pictures of a bad diaper rash if there is one, DEFINITELY put a voice recorder on before saying anything about anything.. and if all is really BAD - then call authorities/play tape.

    But don't jump the gun!
    JamesAndMe

    Answer by JamesAndMe at 4:01 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • If she is allowing you to baby sit her child then you have every right to say something....it's not extreme to where I'd call CPS but I'd definitely say something to her about the baby being soaken wet and not buckled into his car seat.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 5:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

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