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Who pays for what in our relationship?

My partner and I do not live together but he stays over every other night, so as to give me time on my own with my children. I feel he should pay towards my rent, taxes etc etc. I am a single mum with two kids and battle financially. What do you girls think - If and what should be contribute. He says that he hardly uses any electricity or water and that he only sleeps here - I say if you go on vacation - then you still have to pay for your room even if you just sleep there?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Well it's your choice whether or not to let him stay the night! So, I don't think he should pay for anything! He's a guest in your home until you move in together!

    Answer by love_my_boys at 4:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I agree...and if he is staying everynight, it might be time to start talking about moving in together to save $$$$$

    Answer by jaysmommy08 at 5:49 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • If it's working out so well that you're spending every other night at your place, why doesn't he just move in permanently?
    Then he would have to split the bills and make it easier on both of you.
    My hubby and I lived together for an entire year with my 2 boys from a previous marriage and it never bothered the boys at all. In fact, they liked having him around so much, they talked me into marrying him!

    Answer by jon6pat at 7:22 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • i don't think he should pay unless he is the father of your kids.

    Answer by katiesmom123 at 7:35 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Obviously you're bothered by it so I would talk to him. If he's starting to leave his clothes for you to wash, of course not doing it on purpose, leaving clothes just in case you two decide to do something that he's not dressed for, leaving a toothbrush, etc. If that's the case he's slowly doing what my, now husband, did to me and that was a sign to me that he was getting very serious and you might want to talk about moving in together. I would also suggest that you go grocery shopping together and have him contribute. Also if he uses the internet, showers, watches TV, I think he should also contribute to the expenses of the home. I was lucky since he works out of town and just came home on the weekend, he always left me money. At first I felt like a hooker but talked to him and he said that he wanted to contribute to everything in the household. I believe if he gets offended by the conversation, that also should be discussed.

    Answer by christybearskn at 9:02 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Maybe you could ask him to pay for groceries? You pay all the bills. Maybe ask him to pay for 1/4 of the bills. I agree with the other ladies though. Until it is HIS place too he is still a guest and we don't ask guests to be our guests unless we WANT them there using our water, elect. gas etc. I asked my bf to pay half of everything rent and utilities. Every so often he pays for some groceries but not often. Soon that will all change though! LOL
    Just ask for maybe 1/4. That's FAIR!

    Answer by SHELEBELLE at 10:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Hi, I forget to mention that this has been the situation for the last 2 and a half years and also his contributions would not be for my kids as their dad contributes for them, but rent etc. etc

    Answer by busymum66 at 6:27 PM on Jun. 24, 2008


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

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