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what would you do if your daughter went behind your back...and transfered her self out of school?

my daughter told me a while back that she applied for a transfer and forged my signature..I was livid and told her i was opposed. I like this school because it is a specialized school and it concentrates on fashion, it's an all girl school and most of all keeps her away from some friends she has. So she file for this transfer and turns out that she is discharged. I went to the board of ed ofc to get her back in and they were shocked at what she did. I was crying because she did this wtih out my consent and now we may not fix it. Well the counseler their looked at her grades and said you have a good oppurtunity why would you do something like this. So my daughter then expresses regret and feels bad that i am crying. After a long wait she was give an referral t return to the school and put her best face and see if they will take her back. Now she tells me she wants out she doesnt feel like she belongs, should i let her decide?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Sep. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Yes you should let her decide. It is her life and although she is young, she can choose for herself. My brother did and its the best decision he made..and even if it wasn't she can learn from it and she can rectify it too.

    If she isn't happy then let her go where she will be. Just ask her how she feels and ask her that in future if she has problems or wants to do something to talk to you about it.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 4:42 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • yes, i understand its her life but she forged my signature and her reasons for leaving, I feel are the wrong reasons...she is a smart girl and has great potential, she learned that her friend is in the same situation and she has admitted to me that she manipulated things so that she could be in the position to choose. I think that she should stay because she would be more focused, she feels that even if she works hard it way reflect in her grades as opposed as going to a zone school where she assumes she would be more successful. I want to consider her feelings but at the same time I think it was very dishonest of her to forge my signature because i did not consent for this happen. Its a specialized school why ruin her chances of gaining skills that may benefit her later and give her an experience that she won't get at her zone school. On a side note Father and Step dad are mad and dont want to give her this choice..thank you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • If she doesnt like fashion or doesnt want to work in fashion then find her another school away from her friends that u dont want her to be around.
    jessiesosore

    Answer by jessiesosore at 7:33 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Seems like you just want her to go to this school because YOU want her to. If she isn't interested in fashion and all that comes from this school then you need to let her choose. Otherwise she will do worse and once she is of the age where she can drop out she will drop out and ruin the rest of her school career because you are trying to force her to attend a school she doesn't want to attend.

    Forging your signature WAS wrong but at the same time had she came to you and expressed how much she disliked the school and wanted to leave would you have let her?
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 7:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • "Its a specialized school why ruin her chances of gaining skills that may benefit her later"

    It's only going to give her more skills and benefit her more than regular school if that is the path she wants to follow in life. If she wants to do something else with her life then all this time her being miserable was for what? Nothing! Only because YOU want her to.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 7:42 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • No, she's shown that her decisions are poor ones. You are the mom. You decide
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:59 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • You don't say her age. But, under 18? Still a minor. These decisions are best made together, but she has shown poor judgment already by cheating and forging your signature along with everything else you stated. So, I would make the decision. She forfeited her chance with her actions.
    PrincesaBoricua

    Answer by PrincesaBoricua at 8:43 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I don't like the idea that she forged your signature and went behind your back. Dishonesty is a bad sign.
    Who ever said that a school aged child should have ANYTHING to say about school? She is there to learn. She doesn't need to be coddled and catered to at this age. There is such a thing a limits, boundaries and respect for authority. You,as a parent ,are the authority and she isn't old enough to question it. Be a parent, not her friend.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • After what she did, NO she doesn't have choices anymore. What she did is illegal, she forged your signature on a transfer form. If she would have come to you and talked to you about it, that would have been different, but she lied, not only to you, but to the school. Nope, no choices for her. She would also be grounded for a long time. You need to be her parent, not her friend.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:25 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • honestly, i would take her out back and shoot her.
    hawtrodmama

    Answer by hawtrodmama at 11:00 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

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