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ok please no bashing I really want to know...

So I was just reading another post and I saw someone talking about redirecting their 2 yr old instead of spanking. Well my question is how do you do that? I know this sounds stupid but I'm really trying to figure out how to discipline my 2 year old and my 4 year old. They both throw tantrums and are really bad sometimes, lol sorry no better way to put it. I have tried everything, from yelling to time outs to spanking, nothing works. It's really getting dangerous now because my 2 year old is trying to hurt my newborn and my 4 year old is always sneaking around and sneaking out of my apartment and going to his grandmas apartment upstairs. Its making me a nervous wreck, what should I do? How does redirecting work, can you give me some examples? Or can you give me other techniques to try?
TIA.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Sep. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I understand where you're coming from. I've got 6 children, ages 10-2. So here is what I do: lets start with when they fight, because they fight a lot! First, I take whatever they are fighting away and that is warning 1. If they continue to fight and carry on, they are in "time out", aka on the step and thats warning 2. If they are still bickering and what not, they are up to their rooms and they are in there for a while. Since we have so many children, this happens a lot. And they usually stop after warning 2. If its a tantrum, I just put them in their rooms until they are ready to apologize and calm down. I have 6 children and I don't have time to deal with tantrums!!

    Good Luck , though!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch01.asp


     


    Very good info and helpful

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Well as far as the sneaking out that ccould get dangerous so see if ur manager can put a dead bolt high up on the door that might help with that. Can u put up a baby gate too keep the 2year old away from the newborn?? WOW sounds like u got ur hands full hun Good Luck!!!
    Korysmom96

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 5:30 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the pp
    abellvalerie

    Answer by abellvalerie at 5:33 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I agree with korysmom96. You don't want to spank anyway.
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 5:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I have a 5 year old PDD-NOS SS, an almost 2 year old and an one month old baby. All are boys. I know you're frustration.

    Here is what I do for tantrums: When they start I give them one warning to calm down (and or tell me what they want using their words or signs). If they don't calm down then they get put into their bedroom until they are "happy again" is what I tell them. Their room doesn't have any toys in it. That is what their playroom is for, so it's kind of like timeout, but without the hoping they stay still in a corner (which they both don't have the ability to do.) At times I have had to restrain SS myself to keep him from hurting himself, but these are becoming even more rare and you shouldn't have to do this.

    Redirecting never worked for my kids. They know what they want and will do anything to get it. So, trying to change their minds didn't work. Also work on showing your 2 year old "Nice." CONT:
    Kenre

    Answer by Kenre at 5:43 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • CONT: We slide our hands against the baby's head gently and say, "Nice." DS#1 loves to do this and even will come up randomly and do "Nice" on everyone in the room. So far this works, and if he starts to get a little aggressive we just tell him, "No. You have to be nice." He understands that means he needs to gently slide his hand against the baby's head.

    With the sneaking out, I suggest going to a hardware store and buying a sound alarm. The alarm attaches to the door and will sound when it is opened. You turn it off before you open the door and leave it on when you're not within sight of the door. This way when he opens it, you'll know. We did this for other apartment because we weren't allowed to put a chain on the door. Here we have a chain on and a bar in our sliding door. Both are too high for the kids to reach.

    Good luck!
    Kenre

    Answer by Kenre at 6:12 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • It depends on how you re-direct. I have stopped autisic kids who bite from jumping on beds. Sometimes it can be drawing attention somewhere else and other times one must be part of their game. I bounced him off the bed to something else not saying anything but play things. He never bit me but he did others and respite ended. Special needs is entirely different than kids who aren't. Save spanking as a last resort and only a couple of swats on the bottom with your hand. It is not abuse and is not illegal at least in the US. Anything else is a beating and that is not allowed. I would use baby gates (2 high) on the room with the infant. If they are attracted to the baby they will keep going back. I think in various ways they are all trying to get attention back they have lost due to the advent of the baby. Grandma means exclusivity. You will probably have to ride this one out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • When you redirect you turn the childs attention away from something dangerous/not allowed to something more fun. For example-your child is getting ready to grab a knickknack instead of saying "no dont touch" you turn the childs attention to a toy or game and say "lets play with this instead" The main concept is that young children hear "no" so many times a day that they start to filter it out completely. I think it is a good concept but not for every child. Mine are particularly stubborn and just run back to what they were doing. About tantrums I usually just walk away and let my son have his fit on the floor but he never has fits in public (so far) and what the pp said about having your 2 year old rub the babies head and say nice..thats what I do and it seems to work..goodluck!
    n03z07l08

    Answer by n03z07l08 at 8:22 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • When you catch them doing something bad, just say; "hey ____, look at what mommy has..." or say something like; "Hey ______, would you like to watch some t.v." whatever it is. It gets their mind off of the bad thing that they're doing. Good luck!
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 9:32 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

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