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What would you make of this? (very long/detailed)

Hypothetically, you find out your spouse/SO had talked to someone breifly that he promised not to talk to bc he was unfaithful to you with her in the past. They talked over the phone, late at night, convo's ranging from 10-45 min, & sent a lot of texts, & also internet. You ask him about it & he claims it's all in innocence & he just talked to her those times but stopped because he didn't want you hurting again. You later get a chance to read the emails, seeing that he instigated things, by giving her his number, calling her sweet names, etc. You ask him about that, again, he claims innocence, he didn't call her "babe" the same way he calls you "babe". Later, the girl in question emails you out of the blue, apologizing to you. You ask her if it was friendly or more, she says definitely more. She tells you he called you a bitch and told her you weren't together & that's the only reason she even talked to him. Innocent/Guilty?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Sep. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • GUILTY......i believe you deserve better mama
    silly7

    Answer by silly7 at 8:57 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Guilty
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:56 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I'm with a husband who's cheated. The longer I stay the hard it is financially and emotionally to leave. Wish I'd trusted my instincts instead of listening to my emotions.

    Leave him. Call your family if you have some who care for you more than husband. Look for a separated divorce group at a church - even catholic churches have them don't know if being a catholic is a requirement. United Ways Displaced Homemaker could be support for you too.

    Your husband won't stop. You can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Ditch him, get out while you still can. Nobody needs that.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 8:58 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • Well theres 2 ways it could go, he tells u it didnt happen that it was in innocence but yet it doesnot sound innocent to me. Yet she could call and tell u this just to get u to leave him so she can have him, in a way you will never really know the truth. I know this probably doesnt help much but this is the way I see it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • I kind of agree with anon 9:01, he's been less than honest, but how do you know that this woman is being any more honest than he is? I think what you need to do is leave what she says out of the equation, and decide what you think he did/didn't do, based on his own actions and what he's told you. If you feel that he cheated or was going to cheat, then you decide if you want to stay and deal with him doing that, stay and do some counseling, or leave. Don't listen to her, though, b/c you really have no way of knowing if she is being truthful or lying to get him for herself. Him you know, you know if he's otherwise trustworthy, and all that. Oh, and for the original question, I think he's definitely guilty of something fishy.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:11 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

  • guilty. are you kidding me? you know what you need to do. you keep asking questions about it on cafemom hopeing to get the easy answer that you want, but your not going to.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:15 PM on Sep. 6, 2009

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