This is for moms who are in the adoption process (or have already adopted if it applies): If you met a potential birthmom & you didn't like her for whatever reason would you still adopt her baby? Or would you pass up the opportunity & wait?
Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Adoption
I do not see that the agency would punish you for passing, surely there are about 40 other couples waiting in the wings. I think if they are reputable they would prefer you pass than break an open adoption agreement, at least I hope they would. Southernroots mentioned the next 20 years, well in my case, since my son wants me in his life forever, you have to think if you want her at your child's wedding, be grandma to your grand kids, at college graduation, and on and on it goes. I say pass. Have you talked to the agency about your doubts?
Answer by onethentwins at 10:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009
Answer by rsambhi at 1:26 AM on Sep. 7, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Sep. 7, 2009
I am a birth mother so I'm only going to comment here. I asked this question myself recently after my son's adoptive parents and we (his birth family) celebrated his 21st birthday together. I picked his parents and obviously I liked them, but I know they are kind of stuck with me. The best answer I received was the one that said she would go ahead with the adoption and work on the relationship with the birth mother. It's kind of like marrying a man when you don't like your future in-laws, it's something you really need to search your heart about.
Answer by onethentwins at 2:17 AM on Sep. 7, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Sep. 7, 2009
Answer by Luuckymommy at 1:37 PM on Sep. 7, 2009
I admit freely that my son's birthmother has a personality set that I have ALWAYS had difficulty with treating and providing therapeutic services. I have always found those people living with it not pleasant and have tried as much as possible to not engage in those situations. Yet there I was in the hospital with a woman who picked us to be the parents of this new born baby and she was also living with a disorder that is so impossible for so many to live with. I had nothing but empathy for her, her family, and for this child. How hard it must be to be her. She drives everyone away, deliberately sabotages every good thing to cause more drama, lies, puts herself into dangerous situations. And so I brought him home. Yes I dislike her disorder and her actions but that doesn't mean I hate her. I hate the decisions she makes, she can make different choices.Â But you can't play the blame game and keep hating.
Answer by frogdawg at 10:05 PM on Sep. 7, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 10:09 PM on Sep. 7, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Sep. 7, 2009
Answer by Southernroots at 9:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2009
Next question overall
(Just for Fun)
how many different ways can this name be pronounced? ( adelai )